An outing to Roger Ailes House of Alternative Reality takes us to the top floor: The Sean Hannity Psych Ward. Today's visiting hours brings us Texas' favored son, Louis Gohmert, and the crazy-eyed wife of Marcus Bachmann. In order to get the lithium rich-caucus' perspective, Hannity asked the most Teabaggily-challenged to tell us how Republicans in the House will fight back. It's time to take to the streets, with bibles in hand!
REP. LOUIE GOHMERT, R - TX: Well first of all, Sean, when people are saying, Oh, he's not changing the law, he's not making the law -- the law is that if you're illegally in this country, you are not allowed to work. The president has said, well, Congress didn't act, I waited six years, and so I'm going to go ahead and do that.
Then he gets on the President Obama=President Carter with some number he pulled out of his ass.
Now, I understand he's tied with President Carter with over 92 million Americans eligible to work that have given up working. He's tied with Carter. Nobody wants to be tied with Carter. This will put him way up at another level.
Gohmert had to mention the scripture quoted by President Obama: Exodus 22:21: “You shall not wrong a sojourner or oppress him, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. Gohmert believed he should have simply read one column further.
(But) if you just go over to the next column -- maybe he hasn't seen these verses, Sean. "You must not spread a false report. Do not join the wicked to be a malicious witness. You must not follow a crowd in wrongdoing. Do not testify in a lawsuit and go along with a crowd to pervert justice. Do not show favoritism to a poor person in his lawsuit.
After trying to shush the Lone Star Biblical scholar cum loud, Hannity says,
...The only thing he didn't say in the speech tonight, that the Islamic State is not Islamic. But, Hal Rogers of the Appropriations Committee says there might be issues in terms of the use of the power of the purse. Is that a problem in dealing with this in terms of the Republicans?
REP. MICHELE BACHMANN, R - MN, FMR. PRES. CANDIDATE: Well, you know, when I was watching this speech tonight, Sean, I felt like I was watching Jonathan Gruber, to be honest with you, because all I heard was contempt for the American people, as though he thought we were so stupid that somehow, he could say that his illegal actions were legal and we would all turn over and roll over and believe it. (No words can explain this cacophony)
It's not true. Senator Jeff Sessions (the present day Jesse Helms/Strom Thurmond) is exactly right. Congress has a responsibility to uphold the laws of the land, as well. And we can defund this president's illegal amnesty. That's what we must do. We can't do it alone. (Shhhhh, there are too many black people, dontcha know?)
So it's a very quick three-step plan that your viewers need to help us with. We can't do it alone. We need your viewers. Congress will be back December 1st through December 11th. This will be decided in that period of time.
We need to have your viewers melt the phone lines. Congress isn't here. They're gone from Washington tonight. But from December 1st to the 11th, we need them to melt the phone lines and say, Defund amnesty. We need them to go to senators and congressmen's office.
Gee Michele, why is Congress not there until December? Is everyone out shopping for their Thanksgiving feasts? Or is this simply the manifestation of the most do-nothing Congress in history?
The soon-to-be-retiree from the north continues,
But I'm calling on your viewers to come to D.C. on Wednesday, December 3rd, at high noon on the west steps of the Capitol. We need to have a rally. And we need to go visit our senators and visit our congressmen because nothing frightens a congressman like the whites of his constituents' eyes!
HANNITY: That's pretty frightening.
Yes, it is Hannity, I couldn't have said it better myself.