Dear Republican Party: This weekend, the press was at the Iowa Freedom Summit trying to help Americans figure out whether you're ready to run the country. What we found out was that you're more interested in roasting the country, or at least roasting whoever in the country isn't Republican (or isn't your type of Republican).
Some examples of Republican insult comedy from this weekend:
Kellyanne Conway, a Republican pollster, told the crowd, “Don’t worry about being called mean. Let’s talk about Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton is the second most influential person in her own household. I would say Hillary Clinton has the wrong vision for America, but I don’t know what it is.”
Rep. Marsha Blackburn decided to re-brand some major TV networks:
“ABC: All About Clinton network
“NBC: Nothing But Clinton
“CNN: Clinton News Network
“CBS - - just think about it!” Translation: Clinton b.s.
More, from possible presidential candidate Carly Fiorina:
“Like Hillary Clinton, I too have travelled hundreds of thousands of miles around the globe,” she said. ”But unlike her, I have actually accomplished something. Mrs. Clinton, flying is an activity, not an accomplishment.”
Yet more, from near-certain presidential candidate Ted Cruz:
“There are 110,000 employees at the IRS,” he said. “We need to padlock that building ad put every one of those 110,000 on our southern border. If you crossed border and the first thing you saw was thousands of IRS agents, you’d turn around and go home too.” The crowd whooped and cheered.
And more from Cruz:
Cruz, R-Texas, lampooned what he predicted would be the pitch of his rivals to caucus-goers, portraying himself as the conservative who's taken stands.
"Gosh darnit, who-diddly, I'm conservative," Cruz said. "Don't talk -- show me...."
And then there are some of the more coherent lines from Sarah Palin's speech:
“Screw the left and Hollywood!”
“Coronation, rinse, repeat.”
Obama “is so over it. America, he’s just not that into you.”
Wait -- these are the folks who thought Obama's State of the Union address was undignified? No -- these folks are Don Rickles. A party of insult comics is not a party that's ready to sit at the grown-ups' table.
Crossposted at No More Mr. Nice Blog