Frying Pan, Meet Fire
September 28, 2015

All manner of knuckle-draggers want be the next Speaker of the House. Where is Dennis Hastert now that you really need him? Oh, yeah, never mind.

Rep. Kevin McCarthy, who is quietly locking down support to be the next House speaker, is privately assuring Republicans he’ll take a tougher stand against the White House — and also the Senate GOP leadership, according to people familiar with the talks.

Oh yeah, it can get worse. Even their “moderate candidate” wants blood on the floor.

Another funny name I saw mentioned is Pistol Pete Sessions from Texas. Oh Holy Crap. The guy is also known as Captain Stupid. But there’s also the possibility that he’ll be a hairdresser’s dream. Best Pete Sessions?

Just hours after federal agents charged banker Allen Stanford with fleecing investors of $7 billion, the disgraced financier received a message from one of Congress’ most powerful members, Pete Sessions.

“I love you and believe in you,” said the e-mail sent on Feb. 17. “If you want my ear/voice — e-mail,” it said, signed “Pete.”

He’s a crate of crazy, Honey.Oh yeah, pick him! Pick him!
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