Jeff Sessions Or Tom Cotton As Trump's VP?
April 9, 2016

Aladamnbama Senator Jeff Sessions is saying that he doesn’t think that Donald Trump will pick him to be vice president.

I have no idea why not. I mean, face it, there aren’t many people who could make Trump look sane and smart by comparison, but by gawd, Jeff Sessions is one of them.

Trump has faced a tremendous amount of opposition from within his own party, raising questions about whether he will be able to secure the 1,273 delegates necessary to be the nominee before the summer convention.

In recent weeks, he has been in contact with prominent Republican lawmakers including Sens. Orrin Hatch (Utah) and Tom Cotton (Ark.), which some have interpreted as an attempt to unify the party.

“I think highly of him, there’s no question about it,” Hatch said.

Oh wait, there’s two more! I forgot about Republican Senators.

I gotta say something about Tom Cotton. He gave me a headache earlier this week. I was trying to figure this mess out:

“In 2012, they did elect President Obama, in part to nominate justices and judges, but in 2014 they elected me and a net nine new Republican Senators, in part, to say: ‘Stop. Stop to the Obama agenda.’”

Okay, so they elected Obama to nominate a justice and then elected you to stop him? Oh yeah, that was our thinking.

Son, even the least of your math problems with that reasoning, other than it makes no sense whatsodamnever, is that President Obama was elected by the whole country. You were elected with 475,000 votes by people who can’t read in Arkansas. President Obama was elected with 66 million votes. Shut the hell up.

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