August 26, 2016

In an interview with CNN's Brianna Keilar, local Florida man and Republican Representative Ted Yoho, who not coincidentally is a member of both the Freedom Caucus AND the Liberty Caucus in Congress, literally could not stop saying "both sides" when confronted with the truth about Trump's Alt-Right connections in Hillary Clinton's speech earlier today.

There is only one other time I can recall a member of Congress stuck in a "Both Sides" loop this deep. When Marco Rubio was interviewed by Jon Stewart in June of 2012. (Video) Is it just a Florida Republican thing? I doubt it.

Let's play a game now and count the number of times Brianna Keilar repeats her ONE question to Representative Yoho, who has accused Hillary Clinton of "parsing Donald Trump's words." And before we begin, think about what happens when "both sides" won't cut it, and you have already pretended that you never heard of "alt-right" before, that you must digress for a moment into a discussion about ...the Iranian Navy. Because that is important to understanding this video.

Transcript below:

REP TED YOHO: ....There is turmoil on both sides. What we have to do...

BRIANNA KEILAR, CNN: [ONE] What did she parse? She parsed words? What part?

YOHO: With the e-mail scandals --

KEILAR: No, when she described, you said she parsed, [TWO] how did she parse his words? I would love to...

YOHO: Saying, sure, saying he is taking over the Republican Party and turning it it -- what's that new word? The Alt-Right?

KEILAR: You said she parsed his words. [THREE] Which of his words did she parse?

YOHO: Saying that he is taking over the Republican Party.

KEILAR: That's her words, her characterization of something. She repeatedly said talked about things he said, and you're saying she is parsing his words. [FOUR] How is she parsing his words?

YOHO: Saying that he is running on bigotry, hatred, fear mongering. I see that on both sides and unfortunately our country and the people of America deserve better than that. Let's focus on the main issues. We have navy vessels in the Persian Gulf. We have the Iranian Navy, threatening the people in the military, strictly because of the president's foreign policies that have shown a weakness and a lack of leadership. That is the problem we have now. The world is on fire, and the American People are ready to move on to the next chapter...

At that point Ted Yoho entered another dimension entirely. We can only surmise that his head spun off his body and into stationary orbit over Gainesville.


Yes, there was an incident regarding tensions between a US Navy Vessel and some puny Iranian "Navy" vessel in which the US Vessel fired warning shots because it wouldn't be fitting to kick the Iranian Navy's ass again after John Kerry worked so hard to get a nuclear deal. PS The Iranian Navy's fleet are the Cuban Cars of the Sea:

Iran relied on British-made warships and had little shipbuilding capacity of its own, but after ‘79 most foreign manufacturers were barred from doing business with Tehran. The Iranian navy had to make do with the vessels it had on hand plus copies of those ships assembled by the country’s nascent maritime industry.

The result of which is an Iranian fleet that in 2014 is still composed mostly of designs from the 1960s, including survivors of the lopsided engagements with the Americans. It’s a fleet that stood little chance against the U.S. in 1987 and 1988—and is even more hopelessly outclassed today.

That said, I fully expect a loud, explodey Fox News bumper graphic - "Our Navy At Risk!" by this weekend, and if Trump is elected, Rep. Yoho can fully support the President to either (a) invade the wrong country just to make Vice President Pence filthy rich, or (b) sell weapons to Iran secretly (via Israel, no really) and funnel the money to central American torturers. And you thought Donald Trump wasn't a real Republican....

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