August 24, 2017

Like the giant, petulant, spoiled man-baby that he is, President Dunning J. Kruger pitches a fit whenever anyone tells him the word “No.” It doesn’t matter the scenario, it doesn’t matter the size of the ask, if you deny President MAGA GooGoo Covfefe, he will strike back as hard as he dares, consequences be damned.

Many of his manic asks are related to his deep-seated fear of l’affaire Russe. The Russia investigations – and there are several – threaten the heart of Trump: his image. I doubt that his diseased brain has run to the possibility that he could actually end up in prison. Rather, he is in the mode he’s always been in – protecting the brand. Because he was born rich, Trump measures everything by the yardstick of money. He spent decades building up the Trump brand into the avatar of affluent luxury. Because he lacks class, and the ability to self-assess, he is completely oblivious to the crassness associated with the brand. That giant “T” might as well stand for “tacky.”

…Or “Toilet Twit Err”

Nevertheless, the brand is all he has. He failed at every actual business he undertook, except in the licensing of his name, because just as Gingrich is a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person is, so too is Trump a stupid person’s idea of what a rich person is: Thurston Howell III, without the brains and heart.

My money still loves me!

Thus, for Trump, who lacks the imagination that God gave toast, the Russia problem exists as a risk to the brand, constituting an existential threat. Russia made you President, not your talents. Russia made you rich, not your talents. Russia got you laid. Russia got you advisers. Russia got you friends. Russia. Russia. Russia.

“IT’S NOT RUSSIA! IT’S ALL TRUMP!” his actions scream. “Comey, I need you to be loyal [i.e. protect the brand] can we drop this thing? No?!?! You told me NO?!?!?!? You’re fired.”

“Sessions, you must protect me. Deal with this threat, that you helped create. Wait, you’re RECUSING? You told me NO?!?!?!? I shall now humiliate you.”

“Mitch! You turtle-faced SOB! You took Russia money. You gotta… what do you mean “NO!?!?!”

Thus, as the FBI, the CIA, the House, the Senate, the rest of the intelligence community, foreign and domestic and, of course, Robert Swan Mueller III all dig into his finances, and his campaign, and his family, and his business dealings, and his sexual proclivities, all thanks to Russia, the brand is showing some cracks, and so is Hair Drumpf.

President Pantload won't be denied!

Therefore, like Antaeus to the soil of Mother Earth, Trump returns to the people who built the brand – the stupid, the haters, the crass and the boorish – to re-energize, as he did Wednesday night in Arizona. People who told him no, like Flake and McCain and all the Mitch McConnell turtlings who retreated into their shells when the time came to pony up to Trump, and the Democrats who thwart his very will, and dare to mock him, ALL of them are about to get a lesson in Hard-Wall.

“Build that wall,” he roared last night. “Now the obstructionist Democrats would like us not to do it. But believe me, if we have to close down our government, we’re building that wall.”

In order to fund any part of the wall – and currently, the House budget bill has money in there for a 74-mile, token wall – Trump needs McConnell to put that money in the Senate version of the bill, too. So far, Mitch hasn’t said “yes” which feels like another “no.” To pass the Senate, the budget requires 60 votes, which means all the GOP plus 8 Democrats. The Democrats, then, are the obstructionists in his mind; thus, McConnell, you must dread the Orange Thumbs of Twitter: “If the Republican Senate doesn’t get rid of the Filibuster Rule & go to a simple majority, which the Dems would do, they are just wasting time!”

The Republican Senate is indeed a majority of the simple, but the simpleton in the White House, master of the shart of the deal, can’t even get to “yes” with them. So his solution is to threaten to veto the outcome of the budget process and, ostensibly, the now inter-twined debt ceiling discussion, in order to get to “yes” on a $1.6 billion vanity project. He’s threatening to stop all government benefits, shut every office, send every worker home AND destroy the global economy, all to get a wall that wouldn’t even cover the distance from Tijuana to Mexicali.

Again, the brand is that of a can-do billionaire builder. If Trump can’t even build a mini-wall, the brand suffers, all because of all the “no”-sayers. But it’s not the brand, nor yet walls to keep people out, he should be worried about. With all the daily dispatches detailing the depths of his dissolute depravity, degenerate debauchery and defaulted debts, the deep dives by Mueller et. al. point to a different kind of wall in his future.

Ever on the wrong side of history, and decency, Trump will find himself on the wrong side of the wall, too.

The Greatest President in Prison EVER, Believe Me!

Originally published at

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