Read time: 3 minutes

Lyin' Ryan Takes The Money And Runs

Ryan is a liar and a coward

By now, the gentle reader assuredly knows that Lyin' Ryan has become Runaway Ryan, announcing he's not going to run for reelection.

It was to be expected. Ryan was in a untenable position.

He was hanging on to the speaker position by a thread, with different factions positioning themselves to oust and replace Ryan. His grand plan of running on his tax cuts for the rich was going over like a lead balloon. He was tied to a poop-flinging orang for a president and left with the daunting and impossible task of trying to defend the indefensible. Even his own constituents were turning on him due to his lack of contact, unresponsiveness and indifference to them. And he also faced the first real challenger in the form of the mustachioed juggernaut, Randy Bryce, who's surfing on an I-beam atop of the Blue Wave.

So he grabbed all the graft that he got from the millionaires and billionaires and fled. Oh, don't worry about Runway Ryan, he's probably got his choice of cushy jobs from different boards and think tanks that will pay him just to have his name on their roster.

But in his wake, he's left one helluva mess, especially for his fellow Republicans.

Nationally, he opened the floodgates for even more Republicans to join the exodus and decide to retire for 'more family time." By announcing his departure, he's become a lame duck and will be lucky to get his fellow Republicans to even agree on what color the sky is. Forget about any more of his agenda being completed.

In his own district, the top runner for the Republican is the white nationalist nut job, Paul Nehlen, who is too damn crazy and extreme for even Steve Bannon and got himself kicked off of an alt-right website.

The Republicans are scrambling around to try to find a more palatable candidate but without any real luck so far. And every time a new name is floated, their growing desperation becomes even more apparent.

And Ryan's bail is being felt around the state in a ever larger ripple effect. Scott Walker, already in a panic mode, is going to need Xanax soon at the rate he's going. Other members of the Greedy Old Perverts are canceling plans of running for a higher seat and others yet are deciding that they too need "more family time."

However, with all that said, Ryan's departure is not bad news at all, for the country or the state.

Without doubt, the person with biggest grin on his face is Randy "IronStache" Bryce, who woke up Wednesday to find himself suddenly the front runner for that seat. Furthermore, Randy has become the golden standard for all other Republicans, who are cheering him on and/or saying that they want to "repeal and replace" their Republican opponents. I even got an fundraiser email from a Democrat in Georgia who said as much in her missive.

But by no means should the Democrats start getting cocky. Yes, Ryan's departure is glorious news, but like a cornered animal, the Republicans are going to get more desperate and start pulling every dirty trick they can think of and the dark money groups are going to flood every state with their ill-gotten loot in order to maintain in control. There's still a lot of work to do between now and November and beyond. While it's OK to be happy for today, get ready to get back to work tomorrow and never stop moving forward.

Can you help us out?

For 16 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit. We work 7 days a week, 16 hours a day for our labor of love, but with rising hosting and associated costs, we need your help! Could you donate $21 for 2021? Please consider a one-time or recurring donation of whatever amount you can spare, or consider subscribing for an ad-free experience. It will be greatly appreciated and help us continue our mission of exposing the real FAKE NEWS!

More C&L Coverage


New Commenting System

Our comments are now powered by Insticator. In order to comment you will need to create an Insticator account. The process is quick and simple. Please note that the ability to comment with a C&L site account is no longer available.

We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service (revised 3/17/2016) for information on our posting policy.

Please Do Not Use the Login Link at the Top of the Site.

In order to comment you must use an Insticator account. To register an account, enter your comment and click the post button. A dialog will then appear allowing you create your account.

We will be retiring our Crooks and Liars user account system in January, 2021.

Thank you.
C&L Team