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Antifa Woodchucks - 1, Lyin' Ryan - 0

It's not nice to screw with Mother Nature
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Paul Ryan was an event hosted by Economic Club of Washington, D.C. Towards the end of the interview, the conversation was relaxed and Ryan and the host were talking about what Ryan's life will be like after retirement. It was then that Ryan shared a rather humorous story:

Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) said Thursday that a family of woodchucks ate the wiring in his car, leaving it “dead.”

Ryan said at an event hosted by the Economic Club of Washington D.C. that he recently left his Chevy Suburban at his mother’s home in Wisconsin, and that the car wouldn’t start when she tried it after spending the winter in Florida.

"So I towed it into the dealer, they put it up, and they realized that a family of woodchucks lived in the underbody of my Suburban," Ryan said.

“And so my car was eaten by animals, and it’s just dead,” he added.

This anecdote is actually funny on multiple levels.

It's great to think that there might be a wildlife division of the antifa movement that struck a blow against one of the worst fascists in America.

But it's also comical when one thinks about how Ryan likes to brag about being a great outdoorsman and would often talking about hunting or posting pictures of him by some dead animal, whether it be a deer, a wild turkey or kissing a fish.

Related to that, anyone from Wisconsin would know that, while such damage to a vehicle that's been sitting too long is not unexpected, it probably wasn't a woodchuck. He said that he had given his mother the truck to take care of but she went to Florida for the winter when the damaged happened. The problem is that woodchucks hibernate in the winter. More likely, it was mice, chipmunks or squirrels that noshed on all of the wiring.

It's so typical of Ryan, who is a compulsive liar, to not even be able to tell the truth about such an inconsequential story.

To be fair, it might have been a couple of chipmunks disguised as a woodchuck to through off the authorities that might investigate the incident. Or maybe, however doubtful, it really was a family of woodchucks.

After all, this video was released shortly after the incident, supposedly by the spokes-varmint for the Antifa Wildlife Warriors:

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