Read time: 1 minute

Jimmy Kimmel On Whistleblower Report: 'That's Not A Whistle, That's An Airhorn!'

"This is the closest Donald Trump has ever come to having sex with someone his own age," the late night host joked.

Jimmy Kimmel said trying to keep up with all the Trump news made him feel "like the fattest kid on the dodgeball court."

He said if the whistleblower report doesn't take him down, nothing will. "It grabs Trump by the McNuggets and doesn't ask for permission."

"This is what the whistleblower sent to the attorney general: 'In the course of my duties, I have received information from multiple U.S. government officials that the president of the United States is using the power of his office to solicit help from a foreign country in the 2020 election, among other things, to investigate one of the president's main presidential rivals.

" 'The president's personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, is a central figure. Attorney General Barr appears to be involved as well.'

"That's not a whistle, that's an air horn," Kimmel joked. "A wheelbarrow full of trombones!

"And not only did Trump try to get dirt on Biden, the whistleblower said White House officials were so disturbed by the call, they moved all records of it to a top secret server. They did that thing where you hide your porn in a folder labeled 'deductible receipts.' That is the conspiracy.

"You can hear Hillary screaming all the way from the woods of Chappaqua."

Can you help us out?

For 16 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit. We work 7 days a week, 16 hours a day for our labor of love, but with rising hosting and associated costs, we need your help! Could you donate $20 for 2020? Please consider a one time or recurring donation of whatever amount you can spare, or consider subscribing for an ad-free experience. It will be greatly appreciated and help us continue our mission of exposing the real FAKE NEWS!

More C&L Coverage


NOTE: We will be changing to a new commenting platform in the next couple of weeks. We will supply more details as we get closer to the change. We understand some users are having problems with comments loading and this will hopefully remedy that problem

We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service (revised 3/17/2016) for information on our posting policy.