Jay Sekulow, Donald Trump's personal attorney, got up to address the Senate in his first chance to rebut three days of brutal, devastating legal maneuvering by the House Managers against his client. And you know what he did?
He asked the Senate and the American people to put BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm sorry. Let me try again. He asked us to put ourselPWAAHAHAHAHEEEHAHAHAHAOHMYGODHAHA
Okay. Maybe I can get through it this time. He asked us to put ourselves in TruMPFFFFEWHHAHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOMMSHAHAHAHAHAHAHEEEEFFFPPPPPTPFFFHTHAHAHAHA
I AM SO SORRY here just read the transcript...
I think I'm okay now. I gotta say, most of us knew the White House defense would be filled with Right Wing Nut Job tin foil hat-wearing drooling conspiracy theory bullsh*t. So Crowdstrike appearing in the first 30 seconds of his presentation was no surprise. Honestly, though, I did NOT see the "Try a Little Tenderness" angle coming. Put ourselves in Trump's shoes? Imagine how it felt to be subjected to an FBI investigation?
*stares in Hillary Clinton*