January 25, 2020

Jay Sekulow, Donald Trump's personal attorney, got up to address the Senate in his first chance to rebut three days of brutal, devastating legal maneuvering by the House Managers against his client. And you know what he did?

He asked the Senate and the American people to put BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm sorry. Let me try again. He asked us to put ourselPWAAHAHAHAHEEEHAHAHAHAOHMYGODHAHA


I AM SO SORRY here just read the transcript...

SEKULOW: Mr. Chief Justice, Majority Meader McConnell, Democratic Leader Schumer, House Managers, Members of the Senate. Let me begin by saying you cannot simply decide this case in a vacuum. Mr. Schiff said yesterday, I believe it was his father who said, you should put yourself in someone else's shoes. Let's for a moment put ourselves in the shoes of the president of the United States right now. Before he was sworn into office, he was subjected to an investigation by the Federal Bureau of Investigation called Crossfire Hurricane. The president, within six months of his inauguration, found a Special Counsel being appointed to investigate a Russia collusion theory.

I think I'm okay now. I gotta say, most of us knew the White House defense would be filled with Right Wing Nut Job tin foil hat-wearing drooling conspiracy theory bullsh*t. So Crowdstrike appearing in the first 30 seconds of his presentation was no surprise. Honestly, though, I did NOT see the "Try a Little Tenderness" angle coming. Put ourselves in Trump's shoes? Imagine how it felt to be subjected to an FBI investigation?

*stares in Hillary Clinton*


Can you help us out?

For 18 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit, but now Facebook is drowning us in an ocean of right wing lies. Please give a one-time or recurring donation, or buy a year's subscription for an ad-free experience. Thank you.


We are currently migrating to Disqus

On May 14, 2022, we started migrating our comments from Insticator back to Disqus. During this transition period, some posts will have Insticator and some Disqus. For more information on the transition, as well as information regarding old C&L accounts, please see this post.

We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.