Everything Trump Touches Dies, Rained-Out Daytona 500 Edition
Credit: jcarrington/twitter
February 16, 2020

MAGA was all orgasmic about Donald Trump bringing The Beast down to Daytona to do a loop or two around the racetrack leading up to the DAYTONA 500 race on Sunday. So Trump shows up in his black suit and trademark extra long red tie. He gave a jerky speech where he literally had to trace the words with his finger as he leaned over the podium like a 3rd grader giving a class presentation:

I guess Trump is sitting in the back right because the axle is totally warped:

Well, folks. Funny story.

Shortly after Donald Trump gave his halting speech and rode around the track in his behemoth of a car, Mother Nature chimed in. And it appears she is a Democrat, because she brought the rain. Or at least the threat of rain. So NASCAR had to decide: try to do the race *really fast* and hope the rain wouldn't start or postpone. They opted for the latter. Which means all those race fans who braved traffic and heat and crazy parking ended up just seeing Donald Trump circle the track and leave. Literally, that is it. The race isn't until Monday at 4:05pm.

Twitter erupted with hearty guffaws and tweets of ETTD (Rick Wilson's phrase "Everything Trump Touches Dies")

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