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Chris Cuomo Presides Over Santorum's Redemption UPDATED

"You're like me, you're a mutt who came here a couple of generations ago, Rick. You ain't no pilgrim," Chris Cuomo said.
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Here's CNN's little morality play, where Chris Cuomo sternly holds Rick Santorum to account -- and yet he still has his job.

If this was the first time the CNN contributor did something horrible, I'd say, "Sure, let him learn his lesson and move on." But that's not what's going on here. Rick Santorum is offensive on a regular basis, and he's been that way all along. So while CNN may think they polished this little public relations turd, all they've done is remind us of the double standard to which conservatives are held by the media.

First, Cuomo played the latest offensive clip.

If you think about this country, I don't know any other country in the world that was settled predominantly by people coming to practice their faith. They came here because they were not allowed to practice their particular faith in their own country and came here from Europe and set up a country based on Judeo-Christian principles. If you think of Italy and Greece and China and Turkey and places like that, they've all sort of changed over time. I mean, they've been there for millennia in many cases. And their culture has sort of evolved over time but not us. We came here and created a blank slate. We birthed a nation from nothing. There was nothing here. Yes, we have Native Americans, but, candidly, there isn't much Native American culture in American culture.

Then he chided Little Ricky, and Little Ricky explained how he "misspoke."

I wasn't saying any of the things the social media world is saying that i was saying, i was talking about the founding documents of the United States, not the colonies, but the United States was based on these principles of freedom of conscience, religious liberty and the importance of that as a building block to the American dream.

Nah, that wasn't what he was talking about at all.

Then Father Cuomo spoke sternly to the high-priced penitent.

"I think it's instructive of the conversation we're going to have about your party. Why are people pissed off? It seems to be the continuation of a trend, not with you but the newest manifestation of your party, of beating up the little guy and making them seen as less than. Forget the natives. You have done this with homosexuality, same-sex marriage, minorities. and it seems like this is party of your party now, that there's something wrong with these black people, That's why bad trouble happens. There's something wrong with these gay people. They're not us. They're not us. We started this country. Who is why? You're like me, you're a mutt who came here a couple of generations ago, Rick. You ain't no pilgrim. So the point is, this is a continuation of an 'us and them' and the 'them" are the Native Americans, the Black Americans, the gay Americans, they're all others. They're not us white Christian types. But the white Christian types aren't even white Christian types. Do you see why it makes people so scared and so hurt?"

When you won't let little Bobby play with you on the playground, don't you think it hurts his feelings? How would you feel?

If Santorum were a first grader, this wouldn't piss me off so much. But he's a grown-ass man! And it's insulting to watch this ritual setup in which Chris the parish priest is going to grant him absolution. "Go and sin no more."

But Santorum continues to sin, over and over and over again!

This leads me to believe that CNN management wants Rick Santorum on-air for exactly this reason, and I call bullsh*t. Don't piss on our legs and tell us it's raining.

UPDATE (Frances Langum): Don Lemon wasn't having it.

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