September 11, 2021

Elie Mystal told forced birth hypocrites to take ALL the seats when they open their pieholes to screech about President Joe Biden's new COVID vaccine requirements.

In his usual, immensely satisfying way, Mystal answered Joy Reid's question about all the arguments that Biden's new public health policy is somehow illegal with the following:

"Welcome to the immense reserves of federal power that we have existed under for this entire 250-year experiment."

He continued, "Of course the federal government can mandate basic health and safety regulations. The same power that allows TSA to take off my shoes and molest me because I want to go to South Dakota allows the federal government to mandate a vaccine and mandate testing at the employment level."

A more elegant analogy exists exactly nowhere.

As for business owners, Mystal explained it this way.

"For the labor situation, the constitutional authority is a little bit attenuated, but Biden is giving them, I think, a very interesting choice, right? You can have your employees, if you have more than 100 employees, you can have them be vaccinated, you can test them every week, or you can pay them to stay home because they're sick. If you don't want to comply, pay your employees to stay home. That's your option too, employers. That really covers all of your legal bounds. There is simply no argument."

I mean, who, on god's green earth can argue with this? Then Mystal brought the fire for the hypocrisy noted in my opening sentence.

"And I will particularly not stand for, will not hear it from the forced-birth aficionados. The same people that you just listed over there, that are now arguing against the mask mandates, are the same people who have been running around for a week saying it's okay to force a woman to bring pregnancy to term against her will. That is ridiculous. Those people can take all of the seats. Dan Crenshaw needs to sit down before he faints under the weight of his hypocrisy for where we are right now. Of course vaccine mandates are legal, and of course forcing women to give birth is not. And if you can't understand that, I suggest you read this document, which explains it to you," he finished, producing a pocket-sized version of the United States Constitution.

It really is that simple.

Reid asked him if he was surprised that Florida's governor, Ron DeSantis (who, interestingly, hadn't responded to the new requirement as of that moment) has gone to court trying to FORCE business to allow entry to people who might be infected with COVID. Businesses like cruise ships, for f*ck's sake. "Elie, does it surprise you that he keeps losing when he tries to make that argument in court? He's doing the opposite. He's like, 'My government power is going to be used to let COVID in!'"

With impressive patience, reserved for people with power who need to have it explained to them why it's bad to force businesses to allow customers to infect one another with deadly diseases, Mystal dumbed it down thusly:

"Here's the simplest way to understand this. The government can require people to be healthy. It cannot require people to get sick. It's as simple as that." Distinguishing between coming to your house to force medication on you, he explained, "When you are trying to force private businesses to get their customers sick, you can't do that. When you are trying to -- and remember, when we're talking about mandates, we're not talking about the federal government coming into your house and jabbing you with medicine. That would be a violation of your 14th and 4th amendment rights."

But he concluded, correctly, "We're talking about the federal government requiring you to take a vaccine in order to participate in the society. That is legal. Making people sick is not. I don't know any other way to say that."

And frankly, he shouldn't have to.

Can you help us out?

For nearly 20 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit, but now Facebook is drowning us in an ocean of right wing lies. Please give a one-time or recurring donation, or buy a year's subscription for an ad-free experience. Thank you.


We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.