May 19, 2022

For twenty-something years now, I've been thinking about the media and how thoroughly it's corrupted democracy. Bloggers tried so hard to come up with something that could get through to them -- we tried fact-checking, ridicule, petitions, but none of that worked.

We thought maybe after the devastating invasion of Iraq under false pretenses, they might become a little more responsible about their power. But no.

After Trump tried to shred democracy, and even staged an attempted coup, we thought they would stop with the "both sides do it," but no. Instead, they Hillary-ed Joe Biden, polled the results of their handiwork, and then tsk-tsked about his "poor job performance." Nice deflection! Meanwhile, the forces of fascism grew ever bolder.

So I fell asleep, troubled. And then I dreamed.

I dreamed that bloggers rounded up the most egregious members of the media and made them publicly confess their sins. On live TV!

Chuck Todd. Andrea Mitchell. All those blonde women from Fox whose names I never remember. The Doocys, both of them. Sean Hannity. Tucker Carlson.

And we began to shave their heads. Most of them were pretty stoic, except the people from Fox. (They cried a lot, especially Tucker, who whined like a beaten dog.) And as their assorted locks hit the floor, my heart grew ever lighter.

Because there was no longer any way they could pretend they weren't collaborators with the forces of fascism. After all, they were wearing the evidence, right there on their heads. We couldn't stop what they were doing, but we could hold them accountable in some small way.

And then I woke up. Sadly, I realized none of it ever happened.

But a girl can dream, right?

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