August 11, 2022

Tim Michels, who portrayed himself as an outside candidate, has won the nomination to be the Republican gubernatorial candidate in Wisconsin's fall primary. However, he did not earn the nomination for any outstanding qualities or platforms. He did not earn it by being filthy rich, blowing more than ten million of his own dollars on the primary. He won it solely because Donald Trump came in and started flinging poo like the orange shitgibbon that he is.

At the time of the Republican state convention, no one had earned the party's endorsement but it was clear that Rebecca Kleefisch, the establishment candidate, was comfortably in the lead with 55% of the vote.

But at the beginning of July, TFG threw the race for a loop when he came out and endorsed Michels. Suddenly it was a horse race again. And in typical TFG fashion, the reason for his endorsement was ridiculously lame. TFG had his grundy undies in a bundle because Kleefisch shared some photos of her daughter going to homecoming with the son of Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice Brian Hagedorn. This could not be tolerated because TFG hated Hagedorn for ruling against him in each of the multitude of frivolous lawsuits stemming from The Big Lie.

Kleefisch started to panic and flail about with this sudden change of fortune. Kleefisch did herself no favors when she decided to lash out at Michels, accusing him of pointing out the photos to Trump when Michels didn't even know that they existed, instead of pointing out the ridiculousness of Trump's reasoning for his decision.

Kleefisch also hitched her campaign wagon to the Beautiful Losers Club, touting endorsements from such notables as Mike Pence, Cancun Cruz, Nikki Haley, and of course, Scott Walker. An after-the-fact pro tip for Kleefisch: If you want to beat TFG, don't surround yourself with all the people that lost and lost badly to Trump.

So, now we're stuck with Michels as the GOP candidate. Michels is admittedly filthy rich, thanks to his construction company that made its money via lucrative contracts with the government. No one is sure where Michels actually lives, since he owns a house and spends most of his time in Connecticut.

Hmm, a filthy rich guy who doesn't live in the state in which he's running for office and has TFG's endorsement. Sounds like Michels is the Wisconsin version of Dr. Oz, doesn't it?

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