Herschel Walker stumped for votes with a long-winded recap of some vampire movie that made as little sense as his whole candidacy.
November 17, 2022

I’ll spare you the full details, but here are some excerpts just to remind you how important it is to keep this lying, wife-abusing, hypocritical nut job out of the U.S. Senate.

WALKER: I’m gonna tell you to keep the faith. I was here watching a stupid movie late at night, hoping it was gonna get better, don’t get better but keep watching it anyway. …

It was about vampires. I don’t know if you know, vampires are some cool people, are they not? But I’m gonna tell you something that I found out, a werewolf can kill a vampire. Do you know that? I never knew that. So, I don’t want to be a vampire any more. I want to be a werewolf. …

So, I’m watching my TV, of these kids [in the movie] watching their TV, a vampire killed on their TV.

It turns out the kids had a "real" vampire in their attic, according to Walker. So, the kids got an actor who’s also a vampire killer to kill the vampire with "all the right stuff” which, Walker explained, was a stake, a necklace of garlic, a cross and some holy water.

The vampire in the attic was “looking real good in this black suit – wow, that sounds like Senator Warnock, doesn’t it?” Walker repeated that the vampire looked “good and cool.”

“And I’m thinking, wow, they better get out of their house, ‘cause somebody floats from your ceiling, get out of the house,” Walker advised.

He explained, with lots of gestures, how the vampire killer tried and failed to kill the vampire. That included putting the cross on the vampire’s forehead.

“That’s the way it is in our life. It doesn’t work unless you got faith,” Walker said. “We gotta have faith in our fellow brother. We gotta have faith in this country. We gotta have faith in the elected officials. And right now, that’s the reason I’m here.”

And that's reason #85,225,762 why he should stay there and not go anywhere near public office.

UPDATE: Some smooth trolling here.

Can you help us out?

For nearly 20 years we have been exposing Washington lies and untangling media deceit, but now Facebook is drowning us in an ocean of right wing lies. Please give a one-time or recurring donation, or buy a year's subscription for an ad-free experience. Thank you.


We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service for information on our posting policy.