Wow, President Joe Biden has triggered the ladies on the curvy couch with his awesome line of Dark Brandon merchandise. Rarely do you see all of the hosts in such rare form as this video, in which they try to take Biden's most recent ad and turn it on its head. [Full disclosure: I am the proud owner of a Dark Brandon t-shirt which I ordered the day they rolled out the merch.]
We begin with Julie Banderas, who goes right for the ageist effort, which I'm sure Fox News viewers in that demographic appreciate. I mean, how many of them probably wear diapers and occasionally fall off their bike, something President Joe Biden has not been doing on this week of summer vacation that he is quite entitled to after a hard year's work.
"I mean, obviously, this is a man who is, you know, his economy is in trouble." POINT OF ORDER: Joe Biden's economy is not at all in trouble. Instead, the recession conservatives all prayed for is not coming, and here is a pretty picture of his economy which Julie apparently hasn't seen.
Read it and weep, Julie. Cry harder.
"He is censoring all of his, you know, anyone who contradicts him in his narrative online," Julie whined, without evidence. And of course, there is the obligatory complaint about Trump. "He's imprisoning, trying to imprison his own opponent"
Apparently Julie thinks Biden is so powerful he can tell Jack Smith and Merrick Garland what to do, but that power is a sign of weakness. Go figure.
After speculating that Democrats will somehow magically substitute Gavin Newsom or Michelle Obama for Biden 2024, 'Lyin' Kayleigh McEnany chimed in. suggesting that a CPAP mask is some kind of a sign of weakness, before opining that a campaign more than 15 months out has "huge warning signs, cracks."
And she once again suggests Democrats bring in Gavin Newsom. It's almost like they want Newsom, because they're afraid of Biden -- I mean, Dark Brandon.
But wait, Rachel Campos Duffy also had to chime in, with the complaint that Dark Brandon is not funny. Well, maybe not to you, Rach, but to me it's not just funny, it's awesome because it took the "fuck Joe Biden" meme and turned it right around on all of the ones saying it.
In the end, they're just really sad, as Campos Duffy says here: "I also think it's really uncool the fact that, you know, all of this news about Hunter Biden this week and Joe Biden was buried by the mainstream media because of the indictments."
No hon, you should be grateful that news was buried because there was no news. It was a big nothingburger that even lyin' Fox hosts couldn't spin hard enough. Better you should be spared the embarrassment.
Campos Duffy went on to point out, "[O]ur main focus should be our president and the dark days of summer."
Dark Brandon, baby. Boosting the economy, getting us to full employment, keeping the country out of a recession. You betcha, let's focus on THAT.
