January 30, 2024

Most of us enjoy watching conservatives meltdown over Taylor Swift's romance with the Kansas City Chief's Travis Kelce. Swift is now a billionaire. She's talented. She's powerful. She can't be controlled. And she's beautiful. Oh, and Republican voters hate her because of the aforementioned qualities. It's a pattern with the right, and they're in a panic over Swift now that it's been learned that President Joe Biden would like her endorsement.

Fox News's Brian Kilmeade told Ashley Webster it would be "dumb" if Swift threw her support and endorsement behind Joe Biden, and to prove that the network knows about "dumb," Webster quoted Vivek Ramaswamy over his conspiracy theory that the Superbowl will be rigged to help the President secure a second term. That's crazy. It's not as if The Saints are playing. Geez.

"Do you think she's going to endorse Biden at the Super Bowl, Brian?" Webster asked.

"OK, number one, if there is going to be a fix of the Super Bowl, it'll be the biggest scandal in the history of the world," Kilmeade said. "Yes, it's the biggest game the whole world watches now. Nobody told the 49ers because I'm pretty sure they play tackle football pretty well, too."

"So it's a crazy statement," he continued. "But about the Taylor Swift situation. It's written up today. I'm not sure if it's the New York Times or Washington Post. They seem to be the same paper, but they talk about how the Biden administration wants to do this, this unbelievable fundraiser with Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, who would have thought of using Democratic presidents?"

"And then number two, one has a little Epstein problem," he said while somehow 'forgetting' to mention Donald Trump's documented friendship with the notorious pedophile. "I'm not sure he should be bringing money in for anybody."

"But then the other story is how Taylor Swift, their special strategy is to get young people to vote is to have her support him," he said of the Democratic superstar. "Now, she evidently tweeted out support for him."

"And I saw the full screen this morning," he continued. "I don't remember that 2018. She went for the candidate Phil Bredson against Marsha Blackburn. Marsha Blackburn felt that she does have power."

"But it would be the single dumbest thing a mega superstar could ever do," Kilmeade insisted. "Why would you tell half the country that you don't agree with them in this highly polarized time? You stay out of it."

"Hey, listen, I'm Taylor Swift," he said. "I like this guy. He happens to play football for a living. I'm on the stage a lot, selling out. That's it. I think, I think it would be the craziest thing ever for her to do it."

"And Joe Biden's not worth it," Kilmeade added. "I mean, my goodness. If you need Taylor Swift to get you another four years, that's how bad your first four years have been. You're done. You're finished. You're through."

First of all, Trump supporters do not represent half of this country, you weirdo. Did Kilmeade get on his fainting couch after Lumpy invited Ted Nugent to the White House? You guys can keep Nugent. We'll keep Swift, thankyouverymuch. And stop trying to give a wildly successful woman advice. But thanks for telling us what dumb is, you absolute walnut. I, too, have some advice, but it's for Kilmeade: Go fuck yourself.

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