Like his vice president, Donald Trump, is trying to spin a conspiracy theory about Handsome Old Joe Biden's diagnosis of an aggressive form of prostate cancer. He's also taking a leaf from his human 8-ball of a son, Coke Jr.

Dr. Trump claimed that Biden knew about it years ago because he is at "stage nine," which is a stage of cancer that doesn't exist. There are only four stages of cancer, Mr. Stable Genius™, sir.

"Do you wanna respond to President Biden being diagnosed with cancer, or are you gonna call your processor?" a reporter asked.

"I think it's very sad, actually," Donald said. "I'm surprised that it wasn't, the public wasn't notified a long time ago, because to get to stage nine, that's a long time."

Then, of course, he bragged about his physical and cognitive tests.

"I just had my physical, you saw that, you saw the results of that particular test," he continued. "I think that test is standard to pretty much anybody getting a physical, good physical."

"We had the doctors at the White House and over at Walter Reed, which is a fantastic hospital," he continued to talk about himself. "I do it, I did a very complete physical, including cognitive tests, I'm proud to announce. I aced it, I got them all right."

"It's a little risk, if I didn't get them all right, these people would be after me, it would be not a good situation," he added. "But I think frankly, anybody running for president should take a cognitive test."

There are typically 1-4 stages, occasionally 0 for some. That's it. The other stages were fabricated or imagined in his dementia-ridden mind. But do go off on Biden while making his diagnosis all about you, Donald. Even worse, Donald didn't claim Biden has stage 9 cancer once, but he did it twice today.

There's more:

Biden was diagnosed on Friday, two days before the cancer announcement was made. His cancer has a Gleason score of 9, Grade Group 5.