So, where were you when Khloe Kardashian went to jail? I was alone in a forest, meditating and fasting while pondering where Paris Hilton went.

Monkey Fister: If you had any doubt that the bankers held the rest of us in contempt, let Citigroup's Plutonomy Memos remove all doubt.

Legal Schnauzer: Ted Rollins is a rich CEO in Alabama. His ex-wife and children are on food stamps. Compassionate conservatism rolls along.

Mad Kane: The Mad One takes Scott Brown and Elizabeth Warren to limerick.

PBH: The American economy has been crumbling for decades. Now we're seeing the results.

Round-up by William K. Wolfrum; send tips to mbru [at] crooksandliars [dot] com.