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Shutstorm 2013: GOP Arsonists And 'Moderates' Behind Closed Doors

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart wonders where all of the GOP "moderates" have gone and once again took on the Republicans who are ready to just burn the place down before they'll put an end to this government shutdown.

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart once again tore into Republicans during their ongoing coverage of what they've dubbed, Shutstorm 2013, and the ridiculous analogies we've heard from some of them to justify their continued brinksmanship during this government shutdown.

After noting that President Obama didn't exactly make the best analogy himself during a speech this week, he moved onto Sen. Tom Coburn and his grandstanding on the Senate floor, where he cut up a giant credit card.

STEWART: I would like permission to use scissors? That is the best evidence yet that our Congress functions at a kindergarten level. [...]

Angry giant aside also, I'm pretty sure cutting up the country's credit card doesn't make the debt go away. You still have to pay it. Credit cards aren't like cursed medallions, where "I destroy it" and it loses all its power. They still find you.

Next up was Sen. Ted Cruz' BFF, Sen. Mike Lee, who compared what the Republicans are doing to a "family man running errands" who was being forced to buy things that aren't on his grocery list. Someone needs to remind this clown that there are a whole lot of items on the Democrats' "grocery list" they would rather not be paying for as well, but they never threatened the full faith and credit of the United States government over it. I was glad to see Stewart let him have it for this bit of nonsense he was spouting on the Senate floor as well.

STEWART: You're a family man running errands for French toast day, forced to buy poetry and gay-ish music.

LEE: That in some ways, is the way that we're asked to spend money here in Congress.

STEWART: Oh, I get it. You're saying some people in Congress are being forced to pay for some stuff they don't want and that's not fair, but unfortunately that's called being in a country with some people who aren't exactly you.

So let's talk about what's really happening at that store. Everybody chipped in and gave you money to go to the store to buy milk, bread and eggs. And then you decided on your own, "You know what? I don't f**king like eggs. Eggs are a Communist menace turning our country Muslim, so I'm just going to buy milk and bread." And everybody else is like, "We passed a law that you would buy milk, bread, and eggs and the Supreme Court upheld... that shopping list."

And that's when you burn the f**king store down!

Stewart asked if there was any way out of this mess, but as he and his Daily Show cohort, Al Madrigal noted, it looks like these GOP "bipartisan-curious” "moderates" are going to "stay in the closet" rather than face a primary challenge from the right, although I have to say, I really object to someone like Peter King being referred to as a "moderate." It seems everyone in the media thinks that the new definition of a Republican "moderate" is someone who isn't completely bats**t crazy.

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