Anonymous sources told me that my father wants a green sweater for Christmas. Others have reported that he just looked at the sweater and thought the collar was too tight around his neck. In all fairness I have to tell you that I've known my father for over forty years and he is a kind and good man. He's the type of man that wouldn't hurt a fly. When I questioned my sister about what my father really wanted for Christmas, she told me that her sources thought he really liked the red one.