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Colbert Takes Apart 'History Buff' Louie Gohmert For Remarks About Gay Massage In The Military

Dim bulb Louie Gohmert got the treatment he deserved on this Monday's The Colbert Report.

Stephen Colbert took his viewers on a little trip down memory lane with some of wingnut Rep. Louie Gohmert's favorite hits before taking him apart for his latest one, where he told a right wing Christian radio show that gay people should not be allowed to serve in the military because all of those gay massages they'll be giving each other will make our troops vulnerable to terrorism.

For anyone who missed it last week, here's a little reminder of exactly what Gohmert said:

"I've had people say, 'Hey, you know, there's nothing wrong with gays in the military. Look at the Greeks,'" he said. "Well, you know, they did have people come along who they loved that was the same sex and would give them massages before they went into battle. But you know what, it's a different kind of fighting, it's a different kind of war and if you're sitting around getting massages all day ready to go into a big, planned battle, then you're not going to last very long. It's guerrilla fighting.

You are going to be ultimately vulnerable to terrorism and if that's what you start doing in the military like the Greeks did ... as people have said, 'Louie, you have got to understand, you don't even know your history.' Oh yes I do. I know exactly. It's not a good idea."

After telling his audience that he agrees with Gohmert and that he "knows his history, or he may have just been watching the gay version of the film 300," Colbert said he stands with Gohmert because he's been the subject of some mockery himself.

COLBERT: I'm with you sir. People have said to me, Stephen, you've got to understand, you don't even know your history. You're dumb. You're dense. You're a mental midget with the IQ of a butter dish whose mind is a black hole that sucks all surrounding thought into it in an infinite singularity of sheer stupidity.

Stephen, I'm surprised you can even dress yourself. I bet you have to rub peanut butter inside your lips to remember to open your mouth to breath. I have never met, and I hope to never meet again a man so pervasively, astoundingly unyieldingly ignorant.

To which I say, well then, you haven't met Louie Gohmert.


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