August 6, 2015

The JV Debate was pretty pathetic, to be honest. There were about 20 people in the audience, which was at the same venue as the primetime debate, and they got the JV moderators too. Bill Hemmer and Martha MacCallum had some of the most pathetic questions I've ever heard.

Lindsey Graham needs an anti-depressant, and Jim Gilmore needs to fine-tune his BS meter. The rest of the pack fell somewhere in the middle of that, unsuccessfully.

Carly Fiorina and Rick Perry were chosen to address the Donald's ascendance in the polls. Perry was edged out by Trump, while Fiorina would have been at the kids' table no matter what.

In the end, Fiorina won the whole debate -- hands down. Rick Perry was one of the big losers. While I doubt this question had anything to do with the outcome overall, it gave Fiorina the chance to snark her way through an answer while Perry played cowboy, shouting at a non-existent Donald Trump from his podium like a ghost inhabiting the room.

Full transcript follows, courtesy of

Rick Perry went first:

MACCALLUM: Alright, everybody. Now to the elephant that is not in the room tonight, Donald Trump.

Let’s take a look at this graphic that shows the huge amount of political chatter that he is driving on Facebook right now, some of it good, probably, some of it bad. But he is dominating this conversation. Governor Perry, you two have been going at it. But given the large disparity in your poll numbers, he seems to be getting the better of you.

Wow, that question. Why not just tell these candidates they suck and should toss it in right now?

PERRY: Well, when you look at the celebrity of Donald Trump, then I think that says a lot about it.

One thing I like to remind people is, back in 2007, Rudy Giuliani was leading the polls for almost a year. I’ll suggest a part of that was his celebrity. Fred Thompson was the other one, a man who had spent a lot of time on that screen.

I’ve had my issues with Donald Trump. I talked about Donald Trump from the standpoint of being an individual who was using his celebrity rather than his conservatism.

How can you run for the Republican nomination and be for single- payer health care? I mean, I ask that with all due respect. And nobody, nobody on either one of these stages has done more than I’ve done and the people of the State of Texas to deal with securing that border.

We sent our Texas ranger recon teams. We sent our parks and wildlife wardens. I deployed the National Guard after I stood on the ramp in Dallas, Texas and looked the president of the United States in the eye and said, “Mr. President, if you won’t secure the border, Texas will,” and that’s exactly what we did.

We need a president that doesn’t just talk a game, but a president that’s got real results.

Perry went for the immigration question but added a dollop of single payer on top. Not bad, but not enough. A manly, wide-stanced answer, but just not enough.

Carly, on the other hand, transformed herself into Snarly Fiorina and went for the throat:

MACCALLUM: Alright, I want to ask that same question, because it’s true, really, of all of you on this stage that, like it or not, Donald Trump is — there’s a huge disparity between the poll numbers that you have and the poll numbers that he has, given also the fact that Rudy Giuliani said he thought that there may be some Reagan qualities to Donald Trump.

So Carly Fiorina, is he getting the better of you?

FIORINA: Well, I don’t know. I didn’t get a phone call from Bill Clinton before I jumped in the race. Did any of you get a phone call from Bill Clinton? I didn’t. Maybe it’s because I hadn’t given money to the foundation or donated to his wife’s Senate campaign.

Here’s the thing that I would ask Donald Trump in all seriousness. He is the party’s frontrunner right now, and good for him.

I think he’s tapped into an anger that people feel. They’re sick of politics as usual. You know, whatever your issue, your cause, the festering problem you hoped would resolved, the political class has failed you. That’s just a fact, and that’s what Donald Trump taps into.

I would also just say this. Since he has changed his mind on amnesty, on health care and on abortion, I would just ask, what are the principles by which he will govern?

DemonSheep have returned to the stage.

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