October 29, 2015

Lindsey Graham, playing a "fun bar game" otherwise known as FMK with his BFF, CNN's Dana Bash:

DANA BASH (HOST): There's a fun bar game, which I will clean up, because we are in mixed company, and on television. So I'm going to call it "Date, Marry, or Make Disappear Forever."

LINDSEY GRAHAM: OK.

BASH: You guys know what the real thing is, right? You know what the real thing is, right?

GRAHAM: I think I'm going to do a lot of the disappear forever.

BASH: The first one ususally rhymes with truck. OK, so, date, marry, or disappear forever: Hillary Clinton, Carly Fiorina, Sarah Palin.

GRAHAM: I didn't think we were going to do the Mormon thing here. Um --

BASH: Date, marry, or make disappear forever? Take your time, Senator, we've got all night.

GRAHAM: We can't go beyond 8:00, that's as far as I'm going dating.

BASH: Who do you want to date? Do you want to date Hillary Clinton, Carly Fiorina, or Sarah Palin?

GRAHAM: I can't do all three?

[...]

GRAHAM: Sarah Palin, we'll go hunting on our first date.

BASH: OK, who are you marrying?

GRAHAM: I got to marry one of the three?

BASH: Yeah, that's how it works. Keep up.

GRAHAM: I've got to really watch what I say here.

BASH: OK, so it's date, marry, or make disappear forever: Hillary Clinton, Carly Fiorina, and Sarah Palin?

GRAHAM: Carly, because she's rich.

BASH: You're marrying her? OK.

GRAHAM: She could keep me in the life I've become accustomed to.

BASH: I like that. That's very practical.

GRAHAM: I'm a very practical guy.

BASH: So, that leaves Hillary Clinton that you want to make disappear forever.

GRAHAM: No, I just -- is she rich?

BASH: I think so.

GRAHAM: She said she was flat broke.

BASH: I'm going to let you off the hook.

Gawker has more:

No one knows what the hell this means.

Sadly, the conversation turned, inevitably, to Graham’s experience as a candidate for the Republican Presidential nomination, which surely must have ended months ago—years, even. It was not a happy time for Graham, whose brand of folksy charm he says was undone by the lack of a live studio audience.

“You’d tell a joke, and no one laughed. Kind of like right now,” muttered Graham, staring into the bottomless depths of a double old fashioned glass half-filled with tepid water, probably.

[via Media Matters]

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