December 7, 2015

Credit: Idiocracy
It's very likely you've seen Michele Fiore's family Christmas photo by now, it's been all the rage at Idiocracy viewing parties everywhere. If you agree that the idea of a 'President Camacho' (see picture above) isn't too far off these days, you can agree that this NV Republican is downright embarrassing. The world thinks this boobs and bullets bimbo represents this state's interests? Nauseating.

The worst part about this festooned photo of firearms, children and all is not that it simply exists, but that we have a 'news' network that glorifies this as if this woman is the least bit interested in the health and well-being of her constituency. Steve Doocy was positively giddy, all the while showing appropriate outrage at the derogatory comments she's received and boy, he's sure a fan of that great pic. All those matching red tops and blue jeans, what a perfectly American family image, and everyone with a firearm to boot.

DOOCY: What's the reaction been?

FIORE: The negative comments I must tell you, Steve, most vile and insulting comments I've ever read against myself and my family.

DOOCY: What's their point? They just don't like the idea that you have mixed Christmas with the 2nd Amendment or what?

Yeah that's it Steve. It's not the fact that this crazy bitch is far too mentally deranged to even own ONE gun, never mind this obscene arsenal. It's that we all want Christmas, with its pristine holiness, save a few mass shootings, kept separate from an outdated Constitutional Amendment? No, the whole idea of glorifying guns, especially in the hands of a child, is DISGUSTING, STEVE! That's the problem here. But wait, this interview gets worse.

It's time to elaborate on one of the future Rhodes Scholars in the photo.

Some have criticized the fact that the little boy in the front of the photo has a pistol,

says Doocy. No worries, Michele assures him, he knows all about gun safety from the NRA's Eddie the Eagle, so there's no danger in letting a five year old have his own P-22.

FIORE: If you look at that picture real close, you'll see his finger is not on the trigger, my five year old grandson of mine has total trigger control.

Then comes the plug for the people she is obviously whoring herself out for: The NRA. Doocy and his two marshmallow-brained co-hosts were just talking about how many of their 'friends' are getting firearms for the first time this year. Fiore then brags about this Black Friday being the best for gun sales, ever, as if this is a cause célèbre. So everyone who comes to a Nevada GOP Christmas function or a Fox 'News' Christmas party, better come locked and loaded, because we need more good guys with a gun out there, protecting us all from the Black guy in the White House. Egg nog, rum punch and loaded weapons; what could go wrong? Bring your loaded weapon, get your drink on and find out, Doocy, Friends and the Fiore Klan (yes, of course she's a racist, too).

If just once in a while, we could thin the herd with a mass Second Amendmenting of the ammosexual lunatics responsible for our stupid gun-culture, where everyone is both armed and trigger-happy as Hell, this holiday gun porn would be much more palatable. Just knowing that the possibility exists that this very brand of American patriots can simply wipe themselves out in one evening helps tremendously. Ironically, in just two months, Idiocracy will be celebrating its 10th anniversary, and we're already forced to admit that it didn't go nearly far enough to describe the psyche of the average Republican ammosexual.

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