Read time: 2 minutes

Fifty Shades Of Tinfoil Hat: Trump Goes Full Conspiracy Theory Again

The Hoaxers, Birthers, and Scalia Pillow Suffocate-ors have a new Bible.
Fifty Shades Of Tinfoil Hat:  Trump Goes Full Conspiracy Theory Again
Image from: The Daily Beast

Hillary Clinton is a shape-shifting reptilian being who faked the moon landing and is hiding the still-totally-alive Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson in Roswell, New Mexico! That's just a fact!

It's almost that bad, folks.

Donald Trump, whose political campaign is now under "more presidential" campaign management, gave a speech today which relied heavily on this new "book" called "Crisis of Character."

Google it if you must watch; we don't link to World Net Daily here. But fair warning: he uses a teleprompter.

The author of "Crisis of Character" is a former uniformed Secret Service agent who claims to have been in the White House living quarters shadowing Hillary Clinton while she gave her husband a black eye and...I am not making this up...Bill Clinton made out with Walter Mondale's daughter in the Oval Office.

9/11! Benghazi! Ron Paul 2012!

The organization representing retired Secret Service agents is non-partisan and hardly ever issues so much as a press release. But they sure did this time:

“One must question the veracity and content of any book which implies that its author played such an integral part of so many [claimed] incidents. Any critique of management by one who has never managed personnel or programs resounds hollow. Additionally, why would an employee wait in excess of ten years after terminating his employment with the Service to make his allegations public?”

Why indeed? Of course it's because the conservative conspiracy theorist dollar is a good dollar, especially when Hillary Clinton is just about to win the Presidency over the worst. candidate. ever.

You'd better brace your inboxes for massive quoting from your Crazy Uncle Liberty for "Crisis of Character" along with that other nonsense "Clinton Cash."

Secret lesbian! Baby Parts! Area 51!

Don't forget that Trump has been a birther. Brought up Vince Foster's death this year. Wondered allowed if Antonin Scalia was murrrrderrred. And of course, Lee Harvey Oswald couldn't have acted alone because Ted Cruz's dad helped him from his Cuban lair in Canada, after he received a vaccine that gave him autism!


↓ Story continues below ↓

As Olivia Nuzzi says at The Daily Beast:

Trump’s entire career in politics has been spent batting around the sort of nutty ideas that you previously had to get lost in the wrong part of the Internet to even come across. And due to his popularity, he has elevated those ideas and made them a part of the mainstream discourse. In previous elections, the types of people who yell at you about the end of days on the subway platform were given dismissive monikers like “truthers” and “birthers”—in this election, they’re given center stage at the Republican National Committee’s sanctioned debates.

Apparently this book has all the fan fic trappings of Fifty Shades of Grey, to which it has been compared in more than one review.

Don't confuse "Crisis of Character" with that Trump / gay bellboy fanfic over at Amazon, though. Only one of those books is actually worth reading.

Comments

We welcome relevant, respectful comments. Any comments that are sexist or in any other way deemed hateful by our staff will be deleted and constitute grounds for a ban from posting on the site. Please refer to our Terms of Service (revised 3/17/2016) for information on our posting policy.