August 1, 2016

In case you've been living under a rock, you know a job that entails trying to rationalize, defend and justify the comments made by Donald Drumpf, has to be one of the most frustrating, exhausting, challenging yet never boring jobs around. The mental gymnastics training must be unfathomable. That is assuming the job of surrogate were held by competent, sentient beings If they weren't defending such a megalomaniac and monster, we could almost feel sorry for these unqualified souls. But we don't. A little trip back down bat sh*t lane:

Trump Spox Healy Baumgardner Credit: Twitter

If you compare Scottie Nell Hughes with the jaw-dropping (Trump former/current employee?) Healy Baumgardner, ex-shoplifting surrogate and bullet-necklace adorner, Katrina Pierson and the human metronome who seems to be stuck on Largo Fortissimo, Jeffrey Lord; Scottie is essentially the best and brightest that Trump has, she's the best one to convey all those specifics in his terrific presidential plan thingy. 'Believe me...believe me.'

That said, even his best surrogate floundered with the herculean task of defending his thoughtless criticism of (the posthumous Gold Star recipient) Humayun Khan's parents, Ghazala and Khizr Khan and their level of sacrifice. Mr. Khizr Khan stole the show with his courageous and moving address at the DNC. There's no denying that Trump was obliterated by the candor and passion of this grateful Muslim-American citizen, and what does he do? He makes matters much worse by opening his face crater.

Hillary Clinton supporter, Bernard Whitman clarified the absurdity of Trump's claim that he too has sacrificed, much like the eternally grieving parents. Trump said creating jobs and the like is fairly similar to losing a child, who died in service to the country to which they chose to emigrate, the country that they love so much. His words from an interview earlier on ABC courtesy of CNN: *emphasis on his overuse of the first person is mine.*

TRUMP: I think I've made a lot of sacrifices. I work very, very hard. I've created thousands and thousands of jobs, tens of thousands of jobs.
INTERVIEWER: Those are sacrifices?
TRUMP: Oh, sure. I think there are sacrifices. (**see below) I think when I can employ thousands and thousands of people, take care of their education, take care of so many things. Even in military -- I mean, I was very responsible along with a group of people for getting the Vietnam Memorial built in downtown Manhattan, which to this day people thank me for. I have raised and I have raised millions of dollars for the vets. I'm helping the vets a lot.

After Whitman expressed his horror at the comparison Trump dreamed up, Scottie attempted to do damage control. But even the likes of Buckley and Vidal in their prime couldn't finagle their way out of this one, surely Hughes now realized she was up the creek. Look at her first sentence, she was clearly flummoxed.

HUGHES: Let's look at this interview that just happened, the question it was. Those were two separate questions that were put together.

Hughes claims that he never compared Trump's own convoluted idea of 'sacrifice' to the ultimate price paid by the delightful, kind and pleasant Khan family. The comments made to ABC showed that he really thinks that what he's done in his ambiguously-taxed life is some degree of sacrifice, so he really did compare himself to the **Khans (see **above). He's not decent enough to clean their toilets. How dare he.

Hughes said, that there were two questions that were meshed together. The first, I think, had something to do with Trump's definition of sacrifice and the other question was unspecified? I wasn't able to surmise that from the Trump/ABC interview. But then again, when do I ever learn any substantive facts from the Trump policy wonks? She did concur with his sacrifice claims and said this, and she wasn't just making up headlines for The Onion. Hughes said that his first two marriages fell apart as a result of his sacrifice to his job. Of course the job consists of enriching himself, which constitutes a sort of sacrifice., right?

However, there's a distinct possibility Drümpf never even heard the story of the Gold Star recipient's heroism and likely could care less, as it makes him look terrible for his 'ban all Muslims' insanity. The second question should have been, 'what do you know, if anything, about Purple Heart and Gold Star Recipient, Capt. Humayun Khan?' To be a fly on the wall for that answer... Fredricka Whitfield did ask her the real question: is creating jobs a sacrifice? She said no, but whatever she vomited up next discounted her moment of sanity.

Hughes crossed the line of decency, lied through her teeth and offended people. A Trump Trifecta!

HUGHES: This is the spin of the media...We respect their loss. They don't represent ALL the Gold Star Families out there, they represent ONE, they were showcased on the stage and,if they had such a problem being out in public then they should not have been out on the stage, she's (Mrs. Khan) already had an op ed in the Washington Post (and mentioned Khizr's numerous TV appearance)...This is not about our soldiers and our families. This is about demonizing a candidate and getting Hillary Clinton elected into office.

WHITMAN: (*sighs and shakes his head*)Now you have more Trump surrogates going out and attacking the parents of a fallen soldier. Why can't you say, 'I appreciate their sacrifice,' end of story. It's disgusting. Scottie STOP!

WHITFIELD: Did we hear you right. Scottie are you saying that this Gold Star family did not deserve to be on the stage, period?

HUGHES: No, that's not what I said. No, please don't spin me on that.

WHITFIELD:That's why I'm asking. Did I hear you say that?

HUGHES: No, no. You heard me say they don't represent all Gold Star Families. (which is more thinly-veiled racism). If they want to honor their son, go up there and talk about your son (which they did). Don't sit there and go against Mr. Trump, don't sit there and say that he hasn't read the Constitution. Don't go on this attack media spin that we've seen today... this is wrong. Every veteran should demand an apology. (apology for Hillary allowing a deserving father a time to FINALLY, give a proper tribute to his son, who passed away twelve years ago.

The look on Whitman's face was priceless (see for yourself above at 01:34)

Bernard Whitman's face (Left) says it all Credit: screen capture.

But the real pièce de résistance of the Scottie Nell Hughes Collection, exclusively available at White House, White Market Stores, had to be this final bit of Trumplican history. I betcha don't know who is responsible for our illegal invasion of Iraq, during Hillary's second year in the U.S. Senate.

It was Hillary! She was POTUS in 2002-2003. In that case, 1/100 of the U.S. Senate carries the same weight as the entire Executive Branch, FYI. Trumplican-math, much like GOP-math, somehow derives and proves equations like this: 1/100th of the influential power of the U.S. Senate is greater than or equal to the entire Executive Branch. So, henceforth, 1/100th of a branch wielding 1/3 total power is greater than or equal to 1/3? Yay for math! 1/100 X 1/3 ≥ 1/3. Got it?

Using that same logic, shouldn't Rep. Paul Ryan and Sen. Mitch McConnell just go in and usurp the dictatorship of the Imperial Kenyan in the White House, why not just do it now? Elections shmections. Who needs 'em? Amazingly, Scottie manages to drop my jaw even more, with the way she says this next Trump-fact.

HUGHES: His family should demand an apology from Hillary Clinton. She's the one that put their son in that situation that took his life in the first place.

The GOP was always good at revisionist history. But Trump's GOP is trying to do it in real time And, it's not working out so well, unless you're a Trump fan. In that case, the campaign is seamless and infallible and always will be.

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