So after Donald Trump insulted CBS correspondent John Dickerson to his face during a weekend interview, Stephen Colbert used Monday night's monologue to, ahem, show Donald Trump what "insulting" really is.
This video does not include the most colorful insult, in which Colbert called Donald Trump Putin's "c*ck holster."
The monologue led to faux Twitter outrage, calls for sponsor boycotts, and numerous screams from the right wing that Colbert's use of the term "c*ck holster" was...get this...homophobic.
And everyone calling for CBS to fire Colbert conveniently forgot that the entire rant was in response to Trump's insults against a fellow CBS employee. Because of course they did.
Colbert addressed his audience last night, and re-asserted that perspective.
STEPHEN COLBERT: I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Still? Am I still the host? I'm still the host!
Now, folks, if you saw my monologue Monday, you know that I was a little upset with Donald Trump for insulting a friend of mine. So at the end of that monologue, I had a few choice insults for the president in return. I don't regret that. I believe he can take care of himself. I have jokes. He has the launch codes. So it's a fair fight. So while I would do it again, I would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be. Now, I'm not going to repeat the phrase, but I just want to say, for the record, life is short, and anyone who expresses their love for another person in their own way is, to me, an American hero. And I think we can all agree on that. I think even the president can agree with me on that. Nothing else. But that.
Colbert's first guest last night was Big Bang Theory actor and gay activist Jim Parsons, who brought up the issue of homophobia right out of the gate:
JIM PARSONS: So you're not fired. ...Are you feeling homophobic?
COLBERT: No, actually, I'm feeling homofeelic.↓ Story continues below ↓
PARSONS: I thought that was a very strange tag to put on the whole monologue. You taught me new terms. I mean, as a gay man, I didn't know certain things that you taught-- that's it was titillating! I wouldn't call it homophobic.
COLBERT: You're welcome!