Drain The Swamp With Scott Pruitt's $25,000 Cone Of Silence?
September 27, 2017

AKA: Cabinet Secretaries Vie For Wacko Points To Redeem At Chuck E. Cheese

So now that we know Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke speaks in some sort of code language that only pelicans and sheep herders understand, let’s mosey on over to Scott Pruitt at the EPA.

Pruitt just made headlines again.

Yeah, he needs his own private phone booth in his office because … he’s Superman and needs a cool place to change clothes? The other booths like this one bought by the government are at Veteran’s Affairs and are being used exclusively for hearing tests.

Hey, couldn’t he have used Dick Cheney’s man-sized safe? Surely that’s laying around somewhere.

He also takes people’s phones away before they enter his office and …

Pruitt, who has become a polarizing and high-profile figure as he seeks to roll back Obama-era policies and shrink the EPA’s footprint, has essentially tripled the personal security detail that served past administrators. The detail now includes about 18 people to cover round-the-clock needs and his frequent travel schedule. Such 24/7 coverage has prompted officials to rotate in special agents from around the country who otherwise would be investigating environmental crimes.

… he needs his own army to protect him.

Good Lord, dude, are you plotting to release chemical weapons in Democratic strongholds?

And no, no one else in the history of the United States government has ever made demands like these, but then again, there probably weren’t as many nuts at any given time.

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