Last week, Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli popped off on Facebook, offering a $5,000 reward for anyone who would bring him a sample of Hillary Clinton's hair.
"On HRC's book tour," he wrote, "Try to grab a hair from her. I must confirm the sequences that I have."
"$5,000 for every hair obtained from Hillary Clinton. Payment after the sequence matches. Good luck, patrollers," he concluded.
Tuesday, he wrote an apology for that post, after the Secret Service picked up on it and asked the court to revoke his bond while he awaited sentencing.
He has now been ordered to jail.
WCBS Reporter Alex Silverman tweeted the outcomes in real time. The judge dismissed Shkreli's apology, saying he "didn't have to apologize to me. He should be apologizing to the government and Hillary Clinton."
The judge called it a "solicitation of assault."
Shkreli's lawyer argued it was just all supposed to be funny. Har dee har har.
That failed, so he moved on to trying to compare it to Kathy Griffin's severed head video and an infamous statement of Donald Trump's.
The judge would have none of it, and ordered Shkreli to jail five months ahead of his sentencing date.
This could not have happened to a nicer guy.