2017 Crookie Awards Runner Up: David 'Uncle Ruckus' Clarke
December 31, 2017

If we here at Crooks and Liars were giving different medals for the 2017 Crookie Awards, the tin medal would go to former Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke.

The tin medal would be extremely appropriate for Clarke, especially considering that's what most of his medals are:

To add to his phoniness, let's not forget the fact that he got busted for plagiarism. It's bad enough he's always spouting so much manure, but he can't even make his own shit up!

Clarke has always been known for shooting off his mouth in the most inane ways in order to seek the attention and approval from the dark money groups that he so desperately craves. As one might expect, he suffered some backlash for his idiocy. In Milwaukee, when he was still in Milwaukee, he had thousands of people protesting him. He even got slapped around by his friends at Faux News when he went after civil rights icon, Representative John Lewis.

The phony sheriff and his tin badge were rarely seen in Milwaukee though. He was too busy stumping for his sugar daddy, Trump. Hell, Clarke even went so far as to help kiss some Russian ass for Trump, because one of the few things Clarke does do well is kiss some serious ass, which the Grand Oompa Loompa knows personally.

It is in part Clarke's neglect of his job and in part his general assholery that led to six inmates in the Milwaukee County Jail to die, including one from dehydration and a baby that was born to a woman whom they would not release from shackles.

When the indictments started coming out regarding these deaths, Clarke increased his begging and ass kissing to get Trump to give him a cushy job..

Clarke was so desperate that he tried to betray Trump's hand by publicly announcing that he was leaving Milwaukee to take a high level position in Homeland Security, or the Gestapo as the right wingers like to refer to it in their native language.

After weeks and months went by, Clarke further shamed himself by declining a job he was never offered.

Trump finally took pity on Uncle Ruckus and gave him a consolation job in his PAC. Predictably, Clarke sucks at that job too.

Being the old softie that I am, I tried to find one positive thing I could say about Clarke. And I did find it. The best thing I can say about Clarke is that he is the former sheriff of Milwaukee.

If the gentle reader wants to take a quiet nightmarish stroll down memory lane, here is a list of these and some of the other assholery pulled off by Clarke in the past year.


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