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Comrade Trump Destroyed Farming, And All I Got Was This Stupid Green Hat

Trump makes $12B appear out of thin air to bribe the farm belt, and pushes "green hat" merch.
Comrade Trump Destroyed Farming, And All I Got Was This Stupid Green Hat
Google "China" and "Green Hat". You're Welcome. Image from: h/t @atrupar

Our trading partners retaliatory tariffs have been designed to strike at Possum Hollar, Comrade Stupid’s base.

China says that it will fight to the death, which it eff’ing might have to after our Very Stable Genius threatened to slap tariffs on every single one of its imports.

Yet according to Trump, tariffs are awesome and he should’ve used them sooner:

And ever since Comrade Trump started on his tariff-induced, Lost Weekend, things have gone to Heck (this is a family blog!), you know, for America, but especially for Red State America:

  • Harley-Davidson has cut its forecast as a result of the European Union’s retaliation
  • American companies that make things with steel are laying off workers left and right and that Missouri nail company could go out of business by Labor Day.
  • Soybean farmers have taken a 20 percent hit to their income thanks to China targeting them in counterattacks.

So now Comrade Trump wants to give affected farmers $12B Ameros, you know, as a bribe, er, a consolation prize for the cruel pain he inflicted on them so cavalierly. Even Prznint Stupid knows that Congress will not pony-up $12 billion for his bribe (Heck, he cannot get $25B Ameros for his stupid wall!), so he told the Commodity Credit Corporation to buy up the crops the farmers would otherwise have sold to China.

Basically, what Republicans are saying is that Comrade Trump wants to give farmers welfare as compensation. And we know how much the Ayn Rand Republicans love giving money to the moochers and takers, even when the moochers and takers are their own voters.

Sen. Ron Johnson:

“This is becoming more and more like a Soviet-type of economy here: Commissars deciding who’s going to be granted waivers, commissars in the administration figuring out how they’re going to sprinkle around benefits.”

Sen. Rand Paul:

“If tariffs punish farmers, the answer is not welfare for farmers—the answer is remove the tariffs.”

Sen. Ben Sasse:

“This trade war is cutting the legs out from under farmers and [the] White House’s ‘plan’ is to spend $12 billion on gold crutches.”

 

Wingnuttia knows that when markets are lost (when and NOT if, China buys its soybeans elsewhere), they are lost forever, and thus the Randians know that the welfare will be permanent.

Everyone was furious when the banks were bailed out during the 2008 Miracle of the Republican Economy and subsequent world-wide depression from which many people still are not recovered, and Republicans say that the new program would prop up agribusinesses at taxpayer expense.

We conclude with a follow-up to our opening tweet:

Crossposted from Mock Paper Scissors

Editor's note: (Frances Langum) For those of you who don't have time to search, in China a "Green Hat" is a woman who cheats on her husband. LOL.

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