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Stephen Colbert: 'No, Not Every Man Goes Through A Sexual-Assaulter Phase'

"First off, what teenage boy knows 65 women?" Colbert wondered.

I can't articulate what it feels like, being a woman living in this binary reality: The one where sexual assault is a serious, soul-sucking crime -- and the one where hey, it's no big deal!

Sometimes, I just can't find the words.

Fortunately, Stephen Colbert is there to do the heavy lifting.

Even if Kavanaugh is guilty, it probably won’t be enough to keep him from getting a lifetime appointment on the country’s highest court, he said last night.

He played a clip of probably-senile Chuck Grassley* mumbling, “I’d hate to have someone ask me what I did 35 years ago."

“Yeah, who knows what kind of youthful hijinks Grassley was up to when he was a 49-year-old senator?” Colbert snarked.

Then he played a clip of equally probably-senile Orrin Hatch*, who said Dr. Christine Blasey Ford was “mixed up” about the man who tried to rape her in high school.

“Yeah, you know that thing where you remember being the victim of a violent sexual assault and you remember that there was a witness there and you talk to your therapist and your husband and before the guy’s a nominee you write a letter to your congresswoman describing the attack and she forwards it to your senator, you take and pass a lie detector test and later it turns out your glasses were on the kitchen counter?” Colbert said.

“It’s just a mix up.”

* STAT News, "An old-school pharmacy hand-delivers drugs to Congress, a little-known perk for the powerful," Oct. 11, 2017.

"At first it’s cool, and then you realize, I’m filling some drugs that are for some pretty serious health problems as well. And these are the people that are running the country,” Kim said, listing treatments for conditions like diabetes and Alzheimer’s.

“It makes you kind of sit back and say, ‘Wow, they’re making the highest laws of the land and they might not even remember what happened yesterday.'”


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