As you’ve probably heard me bleat and mewl by now, Hair Füror is forcing the military to throw him a YUGE parade on the Fourth of July, after he attended twice-invaded France’s Bastille Day festivities and demanded the same thing for himself, just biglier, because: small hands.

There are a number of issues surrounding the event, including the following:

• the millions of Ameros it will cost, (including $2.5M Ameros stolen from the National Parks!) — By comparison, according to former Park Service deputy director Denis P. Galvin, the entire Fourth of July celebration on the Mall typically costs the agency “about $2 million.”
• the troops, who are home for the holiday, will have to return to D.C. to move and guard tanks, go through full inspection and then march in full dress through D.C in 90-100 degree heat and 200% humidity on the 4th.
• the closest Abrams tanks “appeared to be a 350-mile drive away at the 150th Cavalry Regiment, a unit of the West Virginia National Guard in Bluefield, W.Va.”
• the potential collapse of the Arlington Memorial Bridge
• Also/too:

Infrastructure week is shaping up to be really exciting!

Back to small hands:

“Meanwhile, the Interior Department confirmed to POLITICO last week that the Navy’s Blue Angels will conduct a flyover and a Marine Corps Silent Drill Team will take part in the celebration.“Other aircraft may include F-22 and F-35 fighters, one of the aircraft used as Air Force One, and even a massive B-2 stealth bomber, according to CNN. In addition, ABC reported an MV-22 Osprey “tiltrotor” aircraft will be on hand, and the event could mark the public debut of the Marine Corps’ new presidential helicopter, the VH-92.”

And then there’s the Hatch Act, making an Apprentice-style, commercial break, cliff-hanger (emphasis mine):

“For Trump’s planned speech at the Lincoln Memorial, the White House is distributing VIP tickets to Republican donors and political appointees, prompting objections from Democratic lawmakers who argue that the president has turned the annual celebration into a campaign-like event.”

The Prznint is not beholden to the Hatch Act, but he is not allowed to spend the gubmint’s money to do it. So another crime/misdemeanor to add to the indictments once we remove the tick, er, prznint from office.

But wait! There’s more!

“President Donald Trump boasted Tuesday that the nation’s military leaders are “thrilled” that he’s trotting out a dazzling display of troops, tanks, helicopters and fighter jets for his personal Independence Day celebration.“But multiple former military leaders are publicly expressing dismay, calling it the latest example of Trump politicizing the armed services.

Name names or it didn’t happen, Tiger Beat (ie Politico)!

“This looks like it’s becoming much more of a Republican Party event — a political event about the president — than a national celebration of the Fourth of July, and it’s unfortunate to have the military smack dab in the middle of that,” said retired Army Lt. Gen. David Barno, who commanded U.S. troops in Afghanistan under President George W. Bush.“The president is using the armed forces in a political ploy for his reelection campaign and I think it’s absolutely obscene,” added retired Army Maj. Gen. William Nash, a veteran of Vietnam, the Gulf War and peacekeeping operations in the Balkans.”

Okay, then!

Republished with permission from Mock Paper Scissors