Never Trust A Guy Wearing A Smiley Necklace Holding A Can Of Uranium
July 12, 2019

Stephen Jennings is 40 years old and oughta know better.

Police in Oklahoma say they found an open container of Kentucky Deluxe whiskey, a rattlesnake, a gun and a canister of radioactive powdered uranium during a traffic stop of a vehicle that had been reported stolen.

That’s life in the fast lane, Honey. If you’re trying to get a date over at Bubba Hank’s Bait Shop and Pool Hall, you have all the necessary acrutamonts.

Although the uranium wasn’t weapons grade, police figured he was probably up to no good.

However, I guess the cool stuff worked in the romance opportunity because he was arrested with Rachael Rivera, who apparently is pretty much a Bad Luck Woman because she was charged with possession of a firearm after a former felony conviction.

The uranium, which Gibbs said can be purchased legally in some states, was not weapons-grade. It is unclear why it was in the vehicle or how it was obtained, he said.

“It was nothing we were concerned of as far as him using it as a weapon of mass destruction,” Gibbs said. “It’s very low radioactivity.”

Gibbs is a Sergeant in the police department. It seems to me that we pay him to be concerned about uranium. Hell, I wouldn’t want someone cruising my neighborhood secretly taking X-rays of everybody, much less somebody carrying it around in a damn can.

Also, in Oklahoma, a rattlesnake is perfectly legal to have if you have a valid hunting license and, bygawd, this guy did.

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