October 3, 2019

Jimmy Kimmel doesn't have to "write" a monologue under the Trump "administration." He can simply take the days' mind-boggling leaks and take turns laughing and gasping with horror.

JIMMY KIMMEL: But today really was nuts. It’s hard to imagine that news saying that the President of the United States wanted to build a moat filled with alligators and snakes. A report cites multiple sources who say Trump wanted a moat, he wanted snakes, alligators, an electrified wall with spikes on top to keep immigrants out. He was said to be so frustrated by lack of progress on his stupid wall. At one point he shouted at everyone, 'I ran on this issue, you guys are making me look like an idiot' [LAUGHTER], and they were like — 'sorry, Mr. President, tell us about this moat filled with alligators and snakes.' He then suggested shooting migrants, and they said 'oh no you can't do that,' but he said 'no, shoot them in the legs to slow them down.'

And then he had them run a cost analysis for this plan, for the shooting and attack snakes plan, and that should be it! Shouldn’t that result in everyone being escorted out of the White House and into the wild?

Senator Ted Lieu also balked at the "cost analysis" thing. Your tax dollars at work, people!

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