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Ratf*ckr Rudy Is Here To Disrupt Your World

Martha MacCallum asked Giuliani the question we are all wondering: wtf is he doing meddling in Ukraine affairs?
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Yeah, THAT was quite the moment. Martha McCallum tried to figure out, among other things, what the hell the American *president's personal attorney is doing in Ukraine meddling in affairs of state. Rudy Colludy exhaled, said, "Wow," when MacCallum asked him what his mission was. Giuliani, looking very serious, paused a beat, and announced gravely, "To disrupt the world."

Then, the Rabid Racoon Signal beamed from a rooftop into the sky, "America's Mayor" drew his claws up to his mouth, covered his face with his cape, and scurried offset to gnaw on a hotspot he had on one of his hind legs.

I'M JUST KIDDING

No, then he continued on with some more absolutely incomprehensible, batsh*t nonsense about how Only-trump-can-fix-corruption! and What-are-you-talking-about-I-didn't-say-Trump-could-fix corruption! and poor Martha MacCallum probably pleaded with the goddesses above for the damn thing to be over. (Sorry, Martha. You work for Fox News? This is what you deal with.)

Apparently, though, the real news is that Giuliani has gotten his hands on a time machine, because he stated unequivocally (and with great impatience towards MacCallum for not understanding this, you dolt!) that the laws of physics and time do not apply to him.

"I started the investigation in November of 2018. I ENDED the investigation in March of 2018," he said like a sullen teenager, his sallow cheek mushed up against his be-jeweled hand. MacCallum didn't have the energy to counter that one, ("I understand," she said.) She was clearly at the "Okay, Grandpa, let's just get you down for your nap" stage of the interview. (The rest of us were there way ahead of you, Martha.)

Cynical sarcasm aside, none of this should detract from the very emphatic admission in this interview that Giuliani made than once: he was there on behalf of his personal client, for that client's personal gain. It just so happens that client is occupying the Oval Office, and violating the Constitution in order to remain in power.

GIULIANI: My mission is to defend my client in the best traditions of the legal profession.

MACCALLUM: So, it's in the best interest of your client to find out what happened with Joe Biden and Burisma, not the country.

GIULIANI: No, no. Please. That's a mischaracterization, Martha.

MACCALLUM: Well, you tell me.

GIULIANI: It's in the best interest of my client to unravel the corruption in Ukraine, which involved mostly collusion in the election, into which Joe Biden inserted himself.

Riiiight. So, Donald Trump is so concerned with the alleged corruption that went on in Ukraine, which ultimately failed and helped elect him president in the first place? And in the conflict between our ally/democracy, Ukraine, and our adversary/fascist state, Russia, Trump and Giuliani are more concerned with...UKRAINE?

And, in order to accomplish that, our own country's Constitution must be violated?

Yeah, Ratf*ckr Rudy definitely needs a nap if he thinks the rest of us can't see through THAT disruptive nonsense.

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