April 15, 2020

In a bizarre press conference, Florida's governor earmarked live pro wrestling as an essential service in his state because people are tired of seeing reruns.

The hell with the pandemic and the death toll, people are tired of watching old sporting events on the MLB network.

"People are starved for content," he said as if his constituents are all five years old and are throwing tantrums because their toys have been taken away.

"Since the beginning of March -- here we are in the middle of April that people are being told to stay closer to the house, it sure does help to have some fresh things to be able to do," DeSantis said in a serious tone.

Like many Americans, I'm a sports junkie, but I think I can go without my hockey playoffs, NCAA, football and MLB seasons if it means that I, my family, and the rest of America will not be infected with a virus that has killed over 26,000 Americans so far.

"We are watching reruns from like early 2000s." DeSantis said

Oh God forbid and heavens to Betsy -- say it ain't so.

Floridians deserve the representatives they voted for. Or perhaps that election was stolen, too?

We have an imbecile in the White House and a chucklehead as governor of Florida.

Can you help us out?

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