They kept us from going over the ledge, and they made us laugh. The late night hosts say farewell to Donald Trump.
Stephen Colbert, via the Daily Beast:
“Well, you did it,” he told his Late Show viewers. “You survived the last four years and your reward? A shiny, new, old president.” After admitting that he “cried a lot” over the course of the day, Colbert said, “It was extremely emotional and not entirely in the way that I expected. Because I have to tell you, I have zero gloat in me. There is no end zone dance in me. What I feel is enormous relief.”
Jimmy Kimmel called it "the end of an error":
"It's the end of an error," Kimmel said in kicking off a segment that marked Trump's last full day in office. "I'm not sure what to feel right now," he continued. "It feels like the night before my wedding and my divorce all rolled up into one."
It was also a time for many hosts to look back on Trump's presidency. Kimmel ran through how Trump failed to complete most of his campaign promises. Remember that time he promised to appeal the Affordable Care Act and replace it with something better? What about that time he promised to build an impenetrable wall and have Mexico pay for it?
Seth Meyers dedicated his "Closer Look" segment to Trump's last day, beginning with his "absurd" departing speech, in which Trump claimed "we did what we came here to do and so much more."
"Are you insane?" Meyers responded. "You left the nation in ruins. What did you come here to do? Wreck the economy, spread disease, and take selfies with cans of beans where you smile like you just ate an ice cream with a cavity?"
Fallon joked Trump leaving the White House will feel like "pulling the nasal swab out of your nose."
"At least Trump is leaving on top," he continued. "Washington, D.C. has never looked more beautiful." By beautiful, he means a barbed-wire fence surrounds the Capitol building, which is stocked with armed guards. "Actually, that has nothing to do with the riots. Those are just some of Melania's old Christmas decorations," Fallon joked.
Trevor Noah wanted to talk about pardons:
"Honestly, if you ask me, I think it's incredible that Trump didn't pardon himself. Because it means that even President Trump looked at Donald Trump's record and decided, man, I can't let this guy off that easy.
Then again, some people are actually speculating that Trump secretly wrote himself a pardon that he can use later. And, honestly, I hope that he did. Because he's Donald Trump, so you know he's just gonna end up wasting that pardon on some bullshit.
"Mr. Trump, your car is illegally parked in a handicap spot and you're getting a ticket."
"Well, now's the perfect time to use my one and only pardon. I'll see you when I come back from my game of golf."
James Corden was intrigued by Trump's choice of "YMCA" as his exit music:
But the night before, musical-comedy star Corden really outdid himself with this take on "One Day More" from Les Mis:
Thanks for the laughs, guys. You made the Trump era just a little less devastating!