November 21, 2019

Best late-night quotes commenting on the Sondland testimony:

"Keep in mind, nodding is the biggest movement Mike Pence can make. If he moves his body any more than that, the devil will accuse him of dancing!" -- Stephen Colbert, on Sondland's testimony about Mike Pence.

"Rudy looks like the devil on Trump's shoulder, except Trump would never need a devil. 'You should commit quid pro quo.' 'Way ahead of you, tiny devil!' " -- Seth Meyers, on Rudy Giuliani's part in the Sondland story.

"I'm impressed that he can say it. I will say, doesn't it sound like he's yelling through a broken Burger King drive-thru window?" -- Jimmy Kimmel on Trump's statement that there was no quid pro quo.

"You know what these hearings could use? A guy who paid a million dollars for his ambassadorship! Luckily here comes this smug Wallace Shawn-looking motherfucker to blow the doors off this thing! Not only did Sondland leave Trump's defense in tatters, he also implicated Mick Mulvaney, Mike Pompeo, and Mike Pence and he did it as happily as if he were enjoying his own Eyes Wide Shut birthday party." -- Samantha Bee, talking about Gordon Sondland's testimony.

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