April 14, 2021

Ted! Ted! Don't cross the streams! Read the playbook! Per Greg Sargeant:

* Attack corporations as "woke" to get them to stop shining a light on GOP voter suppression

* Protect the low tax rates of those same woke corporations to keep the donor money rolling in

Ted Cruz got confused at his Tuesday presser, complaining bitterly about the new "woke corporations" that are calling out Republican voter suppression.

He's very very upset that Major League Baseball moved the All-Star Game out of poor Atlanta, which he cares about way more than his formerly freezing constituents in Texas.

Citizens United said corporations are people only when it benefits Republicans? The GOP definitely thinks so.

Ted said, “this woke corporate America is based on lies” and he called HR1 “the corrupt politician's act.” Really.

Ted riffed and riffed and...whoops.

“Big business wants to get in bed with big government. They seek special benefits at the expense of the little guy, the small business. The past month these woke corporations have decided to become the political enforcer for Democrats in Washington,” said the Senator who left his freezing constituents for Cancun.

“If they’re gonna play partisan enforcer, they shouldn’t expect to see special goodies from Washington when they are dishonestly acting to favor one party against the other,"

WHOA, Ted. The deal is you vote for tax and spend "goodies" for corporations all the time. That's the Republican Way!

If Ted and his colleagues on the Right are going to abandon the "principles" that made the Republican Party what it is (a suck up for billionaires and corporations) what will remain to defend?

Ha.

Maybe if you hadn't incited Q-nuts to storm the Capitol, Ted, corporations would feel safe being less "woke."

Can you help us out?

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