July 31, 2021

BEHOLD the level of credence Michael Steele places in the utterances of Jim Jordan, for it is low. Nay, the Good Steele has not an ounce of faith that Rep. Jordan somehow cannot call to mind the times he has spoken to the Grand Wizard of the United States, now living in the Land of Soon-To-Be-Infected-Children under the governance of the DeathCultLeaderSantis.

"I can tell you the time, the place, the date, of every conversation I've had with every president of this country, period, going back to Bill Clinton. I can tell you where I was. I can tell you what was said," sayeth the sage former chairperson of the party of the Republicans.

Of his fellow Republican, who doth bear the moniker of "Gym" Jordan, if not proudly, at least in a manner most unconcerned, Master Steele held forth:

"THIS sonofabitch is sittin' up here acting like, 'Well, I don't know if it was before, I...I don't know if it was after, oh, lordy, Jesus, I gotta look at my NOTES!'"

The Right Honorable Mr. Steele directed his iron gaze at the camera, which acted as a poor stand-in for said loathsome, screeching parasite, and verbally disemboweled the knave Jordan:

"You know, Bitch, what time you called the president! You know what you SAID. You're a grown-ass man. Stop acting like you're ten years old and you just got caught masturbating by your mama. Stop it."

Thusly, was the evil, grotesque visage of Gym Jordan obliterated, but sadly only for that moment. For like the Hydra, we know that once slain, the countenance of the Ohio Gnome Jordan will reproduce eight-fold on the screens of Fox "News," and the joy wrought by Steele's victory shall be short-lived, indeed.

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