March 4, 2022

Fox reporters are determined to display their ignorance of basic economic principles, and eager to show their obscene fetish for tilting the field in favor of rich white people. In Jen Psaki's briefing room on Thursday, the display came from Jacqui Heinrich, and the people whose boots she licked were oil company executives who, let's face it, could really use a hand up out of these hard times, amirite? (/s)

When talk turned to the high price of gas, Heinrich asked, "You just said that less supply raises prices, it's not in our strategic interest to reduce the supply. We also know the president, as recently as yesterday, talked about increasing domestic manufacturing to bring down inflated items, like goods. So, why not apply the same logic to energy, and increase domestic production here?"

"Well, there are 9,000 approved oil leases that the oil companies are not tapping into currently, so I would ask them that question," Psaki told her, redirecting her to something called a "source," which, if Heinrich were a real journalist, she would know.

"Is there nothing the administration can do to get those providers back to pre-pandemic levels?" Heinrich demanded, despite the fact that the people who sign her paycheck decry presidential overreach and big government whenever they take a break from whining about not being able to use the N-word.

"Do you think the oil companies don't have enough money to drill on the places that have been pre-approved?" asked Psaki in the perfect response.

"Just asking," said Heinrich. Seriously, she said "Just asking." Like a snotty teenager.

"I would point that question to them and we can talk about it tomorrow when you learn more," reiterated Psaki, giving her way more credit than she deserved, because what are the chances Heinrich will even approach an oil company exec, let alone LEARN something?

Then, Heinrich came out with the REAL agenda: "Do you think that opening the Keystone Pipeline and having more energy-friendly policies might do that?"

Psaki had to explain to her how these things actually work.

"The Keystone Pipeline has never been operational. It would take years for that to have any impact," Psaki informed her. "I know a number of members of Congress have suggested that, but that is a proposed solution that has no relationship, or would have no impact on what the problem is we all agree is an issue."

"So during those years where it would take to bring down pricing, we should just continue to buy Russian oil?" asked the snotty teenager.

"Well, again, Jacqui, I think you're familiar with a number of steps we've taken: a historic release from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve..."

Snotty teen interrupted: "But that didn’t bring down prices -- last time or this time."

Patient as someone working with young children, Psaki said, "Well, let me finish. What we can do over time and what this is a reminder of, in the President's view, is our need to reduce our reliance on oil," she explained. "The Europeans need to do that; we need to do that. If we do more to invest in clean energy, more to invest in other sources of energy, that's exactly what we can do to prevent this from happening in the future. We welcome any Republicans from joining us in that effort."

How this woman is not openly drinking during these pressers is beyond me.

Heinrich whined, "As long as we're buying Russian oil, though, aren't we financing the war?"

"Well, Jacqui, AGAIN, it's only about ten percent of what we're importing," Psaki reminded her. "I've not made any announcement about any decision on that front, but our objective here and our focus is making sure that any step we take maximizes the impact on President Putin and minimizes it on the American people. And anyone who's calling for an end to the carveout should be clear that that would raise prices."

First they bitch about gas prices being too high. Psaki gives them a simple solution - drill on the unused land they already have to increase production. Then they propose a course of action that in reality is no solution, but simply a way to increase profits to oil company executives. Psaki says so. Then they say stop buying the tiny amount of oil we get from Russia (who suddenly, they don't like?) even though that will raise gas prices even more.

I don't know what Psaki takes to keep her cool before these pressers, but I could sure use some of it.

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