Since Alito referenced so many outdated ideas in his draft opinion overturning Roe v Wade, SNL did the only sensible thing: they brought us back to the time when Alito's ideas came from to show us just how bonkers they are.
May 8, 2022

As we all know, the Supreme Court looks poised to overturn 49 years of precedent (that they all agreed to uphold during their confirmation hearings) by allowing state's to ban abortion - with no exceptions for rape, incest, health of the mother, etc. In the draft opinion, Samuel Alito makes references to a lot of outdated and medieval terminology that most people do not fully understand. So, to make it more palpable, Saturday Night Live opened their show with a pretty funny (but also on point) skit to show exactly what the world was like when Alito's references were created.

It opened with a voiceover: "In the draft of the majority opinion overturning Roe v. Wade, Justice Samuel Alito explains that no woman has a right to an abortion, and in fact, abortion is a crime. To prove it, he cites a treatise from 13th century England that says "if the fate of the already formed, giving her poison is homicide." He cites a second treatise that says "if a quickened child dies in her body, it would be a great perversion." We go to that profound moment of moral clarity almost 1,000 years ago which laid such a clear foundation for what our laws should be in 2022.

First up, discussion about other laws (not sure if they are actually real, but let's go with it). Pointy shoes. Hunting deer in the royal forest means your genitals are cut off. Then they talk about if a concubine needs an abortion, you can just send her to a different feifdom, or "Old York City."

And what about punishment if a woman did get an abortion? They suggest: "Great opportunity, we could put her on a boat and let her sail off the cliff at the edge of the world. She would of course, tumble down where the four turtles are holding up the earth and perhaps one of them will eat her."

Enter a woman: "I was just wondering since I'm almost at the childbearing age of 12, should it be the woman's decision? Since having a baby offers a 50% chance of dying? Shouldn't we make exceptions in case of rape or incest?"

"But those are the only kinds of sex!" whineth the man.

It's a great skit and points out just how ludicrous Alito's basis for supporting the overturning of this precedent is. What is next? Same sex marriage? Interracial marriage? Integrated schools? Women's right to vote? My guess is contraception and IUD.

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