July 21, 2024

Donald Trump was in Michigan last night, the same state where nine of his supporters were convicted of plotting to kidnap the Governor in a terrifying scheme, and went off on wild tangents while telling his supporters that he loves Elon Musk, the man who killed the Bird App so that he could play footsie with white nationalists.

The felonious candidate boasted of Musk's reported monthly donation of $45 million, even though Elon claimed on Xitter that it was a "fake gnus." Wow, that's so edgy, Elon! What's odd was the reaction from his supporters, who broke out in applause over his love for Musk.

"I love Elon Musk… he endorsed me recently," Trump said. "He's great."

"I read he gives me $45 million a month. I talked to him a while ago, and he didn't even mention it," he continued. "Other guys give you two dollars, and you got to take them to lunch."

Oh no, not lunch. Poor Trump.

"We have to make life good for our smart people, you know?" the stable genius said. "We have some smart people. We have to make life good for our smart people. And he's as smart as you get."

Trump also spoke of his love for electric vehicles, adding that they aren't for everyone, though. Geez, that's quite a shift. And it sure sounds like a quid pro quo between narcissists to me.

While most of his supporters are contemplating how to afford the gold sneakers or the Bibles the felon hawks, Trump is telling them that we have to make life nicer for the wealthiest man in the world.

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