November 15, 2008

From Real Time Nov. 14, 2008.

And finally New Rule, the rest of the world can go back to being completely jealous of America. Yes. Our majority white country just freely elected a black President, something no other democracy has ever done. Take that Canada! Where's your Nubian Warrior President? Your head of state is a boring white dude named Stephen Harper and mine is a kick ass black ninja named Barack Hussein Obama!

That's right everybody. I take back ever bad thing I ever said about the good old USA. I've gone from god damn America to.. god damn America. I feel like a hockey mom at the state fair getting felt up by Hank Williams Jr. while fireworks go off and Jesus appears in my cotton candy. It would be stupid not to be stupid about it. So I'd like to take this moment when we finally got one right to bask in a little unwarranted, unapologetic, irrational faux patriotism, or as Fox News calls it, regular programming. Now I might regret this. It's kind of like going grocery shopping when you're high, but here goes world...

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