Jack Abramoff, Pizza Guy

As part of his release program to a halfway house and re-entry to society, Jack Abramoff has a new job at Tov Pizza in Baltimore.

Mr. Abramoff started his new gig this week at Tov Pizza — “the best kosher pizza in town,” according to a catchy jingle that plays while callers are on hold.

He has so far stayed largely cloistered in a back office. He will work about 40 hours a week, said the owner, Ron Rosenbluth. He comes in around 10:30 a.m., leaves around 5:30 p.m., and wears a yarmulke to work, as many of the male customers and employees here do. He earns between $7.50 and $10 an hour (“or a little less than what he used to make”). He has been responsible, punctual, courteous. “He is not the monster he has been portrayed as,” Mr. Rosenbluth said.

Well, of course he isn't. If he were a monster, he couldn't have gotten away with half of what he did. It is precisely because he isn't a monster -- outwardly at least -- that he was able to bilk millions out of various Indian tribes. Monsters eat children. Abramoff just took the food off their table and left them to starve, laughing all the way to the bank.

Watch for this to be the emerging theme, this idea of Abramoff not being such a bad guy after all. Here was the quintessential College Republican in all his glory, screwing one tribe for the benefit of the one that paid more, delivering nothing to them in return but living high on the hog for as long as it lasted.

My one comfort is figuring out how long it will take him to make restitution for all the millions he stole if he makes ten bucks an hour. Then again, at least he has a job.


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