October 14, 2014

Leave it to Stephen Colbert to go where no one should really dare to go when mocking the College Republicans and their creepy "Say Yes to the Dress" ad which we discussed earlier this month here.

Colbert told his audience how very excited that the 2014 midterms are almost here, and "with 21 days left until the election, there's one voting group the GOP is still struggling to woo... and that's woo-men."

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After playing some clips from our corporate media discussing the Republicans and their problems with women voters, Colbert did his best to minimize the problem.

COLBERT: Okay, the GOP has problems communicating with women, but that doesn't mean they don't care. They're just like that shy kid at the dance who wants to get your attention by denying you equal pay. It means he likes you.

As Stephen pointed out, fortunately one GOP group "has developed a new campaign that's sure to win the lady vote, the College Republican National Committee." Cue Stephen describing the new ad for the Florida governor's race between "Democrat challenger and par-boiled American Charlie Christ, and Republican incumbent and naked mole rat, Rick Scott."

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After giving the audience a preview of the ad, which is imitating the TLC show, Say Yes to the Dress, Colbert let everyone know just how successful he thinks their messaging is going to be.

COLBERT: Folks, this ad... I know, it's touching, isn't it? This ad is packed with all kinds of classic conservative messages, traditional marriage, fiscal conservatism and hating mom. I look forward to the next GOP ad telling baseball and apple pie to go f**k themselves.

And as Stephen explained, there are a lot of races this year, so "they have custom fit this ad for blushing voters nationwide." "It is a nice dress, but I think trying out that many candidates disqualifies her from wearing white."

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Colbert was so inspired by the GOP's "appeal to the ladies" that he decided to make his own ad that he believes "addresses the real concerns of young single women." What follows is sure to anger a few people on the right, but I'm quite sure that's exactly the point.

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Colbert wrapped things up with this.

COLBERT: And ladies, if you're looking for even more freshness, don't worry, the GOP also has a full line of douche bags.

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