Pre-K: Where God Dares Not Go
April 23, 2015

Okay, I know Pre-K is rough because those little rug rats will kill you and then eat you. But I had no idea how rough it is until Republican Governor Greg Abbott’s semi-mildly progressive plan for Pre-K education in Texas was attacked by Republican Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, who lives in the dank, dark, and dreadful Tea Party world.

All twenty members of Patrick’s “advisory board” oppose the Abbott plan, and oppose is kinda an understatement.

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick’s tea party advisory panel on Tuesday blasted Gov. Greg Abbott’s quality pre-K legislation as “socialistic” and “a threat to parental rights,” contributing friction to the already tense balancing act between the state’s top Republican leaders.“We are experimenting at great cost to taxpayers with a program that removes our young children from homes and half-day religious preschools and mothers’ day out programs to a Godless environment …

Okay, the letter goes on and on but I kinda had to stop there.It is news to me that Pre-K is Godless. Every Pre-K class I have ever visited has an adult present who loudly proclaims, “Oh Dear God!” at least hourly. Those kids are savages and even calling on God rarely stops Buster from attempting to gouge out Casey’s eyes.

But they keep on going —

This interference by the State tramples up our parental rights,” the letter added. “The early removal of children from parents’ care is historically promoted in socialistic countries, not free societies which respect parental rights.”

Y’all, seriously. Is there a non-socialistic magic button between Pre-K and regular K? How about 5th grade? Is 5th grade socialist?I dunno. Dan Patrick and his Tea Party punch bowl get crazier and crazzzzzier.

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